European Central Bank Restores Euro Confidence in 10 Trillion Recapitalization with Hasbro

Funny story written by Adam Mark

Friday, 30 December 2011


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Hasbro plan special edition notes to avoid the use of standard board game currency

FRANKFURT, Germany - The European Central Bank announced at a joint press conference today with Hasbro (NASDAQ: HAS) a new partnership to restore credibility to the European money supply and ensure the future safety of the Eurozone.

The plan is to recapitalize the European financial system using quantitative easing through the supply of new bank notes. These notes, known currently as Ms, will be provided at 75% of face value to the ECB by Hasbro Inc, makers of well-known games and action figures. Hasbro is to provide over M10 trillon in both cash notes and new M-Bonds to the ECB. These instruments will be traded on major exchanges including the Chicago Mercantile Exchange (CME) and the London Stock Exchange (LSE).

A spokesperson from ECB was unable to comment, but an unnamed source close to the bank noted that the bankers were "jumping with joy" at the thought of the new facility. In addition to the cash value, Hasbro are expected to include a large supply of Star Wars and Transformers figures as part of the "Welcome to the Euroworld of Hasbro" economic package.

Hasbro spokesperson, Brett Halliwell, explained "Our Monopoly division was really bummed when they heard the Wall Street bankers complaining that the Europeans had turned the Euro into 'Monopoly' money. First, we reached for our lawyers to start law suits, but they one of the group said 'hey, if their currency has turned into Monopoly money, maybe we can help?' And that is where the plan came from."

Hasbro have ramped up production of the M bills at its two plants, one in Hungary and the other in China. The first trillion Ms are expected to arrive in Frankfurt for distribution in time for the January credit card bills of Europeans from southern and eastern Europe, and some time in February for the rest of Europe.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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