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Funny satire stories about Manchester United

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Funny story: Earth's Magnetic Field Reverses Overnight: Nothing Makes Sense Anymore as if ever did

Earth's Magnetic Field Reverses Overnight: Nothing Makes Sense Anymore as if ever did

In a shocking revelation, everyone in the world woke up this morning to find out that the Earth's magnetic field had reversed itself. That is except for the people of Australia who actually witnessed it first hand and realized that their beer must h...

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Funny story: Exit Stage: Group

Exit Stage: Group

Manchester: the epicentre of football. Well, the epicentre of Thursday night Channel Five football. Instead of the Bernabeu in the next round Manchester City will be looking to the Britannia stadium for their midweek football. As Man City prepare to...

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Funny story: Sir Alex Ferguson joins Cameron in "Exit Europe Campaign"!

Sir Alex Ferguson joins Cameron in "Exit Europe Campaign"!

Sir Alex Ferguson has joined hands with the British PM in a political show of solidarity by proving that Britain doesn't need Europe, it's debts, the Champions League or Angela Merkel for that matter too. David Cameron sent Sir Alex a congratulati...

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Funny story: Manchester 0 London 2 - Hovis Jugglers Gutted

Manchester 0 London 2 - Hovis Jugglers Gutted

UEFA Champions League - It's good news for London, but a disaster for Manchester, as both Manchester clubs - City and United - crashed out of the tournament, whilst Arsenal and Chelsea progressed to the knockout stages. City fanatic, Liam Gaggler,...

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Funny story: Noisy Neighbours To Batter Man United Again In FA Cup 3rd Round

Noisy Neighbours To Batter Man United Again In FA Cup 3rd Round

Mortified Manchester United fans could only reel back from their TV sets in abject terror this afternoon as the FA Cup 3rd Round draw was made at Wembley. It's Manchester City versus Manchester United at the Shittihead Stadium in the grand old tourna...

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Funny story: Ferguson Rules Out Berbatov

Ferguson Rules Out Berbatov

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has today ruled out striker Dimitar Berbatov. The news came as a shock to the room full of unscrupulous underhanded weasels with most viewing this as a step too far from the 69 year old Scot. Reporters...

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Funny story: FIFA want to introduce politically correct chants

FIFA want to introduce politically correct chants

Keen to show he is as Politically Correct as the head of any other organisation, FIFA President, Sepp Blatter, has asked that supporters associations for football clubs across the UK to adopt politically correct chants. "We wish to cut out the swe...

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Funny story: Wayne Rooney Questioned About Joining Big Money Spending Russian Outfit, replies 'Who the f***ing hell are they?'

Wayne Rooney Questioned About Joining Big Money Spending Russian Outfit, replies 'Who the f***ing hell are they?'

We caught up with Wayne Rooney yesterday, shopping alone on the Manc high street. We initially saw him hiding under a Nike hoodie 37 sizes to small for him (looked like something that'd fit his son Kai), emerging from Bobbers, a hair salon. We shouted his name to try and let onto him. 'Shrek, Shrek!' we screamed. He turned around, saw us, and ran away as quick as he would after looking in...

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Funny story: Man Utd get stung by Portuguese Man-of-War!

Man Utd get stung by Portuguese Man-of-War!

Stottering Man United got heavily stung swimming in dangerous seas last night by a Portuguese "Man-of-war". Benfica run rings around United leaving their deadly tentacles stinging all over the pitch. United must now travel to Basel and hope that they...

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Funny story: God is a Man United fan!

God is a Man United fan!

God is certainly a Man United fan and it has been proven many times. He follows United in every game and orders Chicharito to get on his knees, makes their opponents miss open goals and even lets United win when they're playing lousy. Ever since 1...

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Funny story: Man United sign 5 year-old super dog!

Man United sign 5 year-old super dog!

Manchester United have signed a 5 year-old super dog called Jack who can do things with a ball that not even Wayne Rooney can do. United scouts spotted the dog doing his amazing tricks in a municipal Manchester park with his owner, Andy a staunch Man...

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Funny story: Gary Neville 'Not Coping Well' With Revelation That He's Really A Scouser

Gary Neville 'Not Coping Well' With Revelation That He's Really A Scouser

Former Manchester United and England full back, Gary Neville, is apparently having a hard time dealing with the revelation by chubby TV presenter James Corden, that his great great great grandparents, or somebody, were actually born in Liverpool.

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Funny story: 25 Years Of Sir Alex Ferguson - Thanks For The Memories Boss

25 Years Of Sir Alex Ferguson - Thanks For The Memories Boss

From a Red It wasn't always good. 26 years without winning the league. An FA Cup win over Palace, and the following season, a wet night in Rotterdam when we beat Barcelona in the Cup Winner's Cup final. At last - a European prize. Following five years of oblivion. A failed title challenge, culminating in embarrassment at Anfield - to the delight of the Scousers. Leeds win the league...

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Funny story: Manchester United Promise To 'Go Easy' On Everton

Manchester United Promise To 'Go Easy' On Everton

Everton fans can relax - signals emerging from Manchester Utd today suggest all is well in the Red Devils camp after a stroll out in the Carling Cup on Tuesday night. There had been fears that following Utd's 6-1 home mauling at the hands of deadl...

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Funny story: Manchester United Opponents Seek Match Postponements

Manchester United Opponents Seek Match Postponements

In a bizarre coincidence illness and injuries have stricken Manchester United's next two opponents - Aldershot and Everton. Following their mauling by deadly rivals Manchester City at Old Trafford on Sunday, United are due to travel to Aldershot i...

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Funny story: Sir Alex Silent As Noisy Neighbours Subject Sorry United To A Ruthless Six-One Mauling

Sir Alex Silent As Noisy Neighbours Subject Sorry United To A Ruthless Six-One Mauling

Sir Alex Ferguson refused to comment today as Manchester United were ruthlessly dismantled by the noisy neighbours at Old Trafford. After a six goal hiding, a Sky Sports assistant knocked on the United dressing room door and asked Sir Alex to come...

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Funny story: Manchester City Stuff United In Derby? You're Having A Laugh, Says Expert

Manchester City Stuff United In Derby? You're Having A Laugh, Says Expert

A top football expert refused to believe that the Manchester derby ended with City demolishing United 6-1. "Give over. You're having a laugh, aren't you," said EIF News & Features sports editor Thelonious Adidas when he heard the result. "Go o...

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