A local man has taken the unprecedented step of changing his sheets recently and ironing some of his clothes, even if he isn't 'on a promise' that evening. According to close friends he 'just started acting a bit more responsibly' Along with a...
Locals in the harbour town of Brixham have been left 'seriously perturbed', say emergency service personnel, after witnessing a vicious and unprovoked attack on the quayside. Witnesses say that an unnamed woman was eating a choc-ice whilst staring...
Stubbington man, Larry Granger got quite a shock this morning when he went through his back door, into the garden, to put the bins out. Sitting in the middle of his back lawn was a strange object, which no amount of internet research could actually i...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was lying low tonight, fearful that he may inadvertently become involved in the Britain's Got Talent/Ronan Parke vote rigging allegations, which prompted Simon Cowell to bring in the police. Friends say that Shuttleco...
WALSALL, W. MIDS - A man has made shit go wrong after misreading instructions. Ben Phillips was working in his factory when an order came in for fifteen pieces of 20m of wood. Ben misread the 20m as 20 million, not 20 metres - and ignored the f...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was treated to his first 3D cinematic experience last night, when he attended a local theatre to see Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz in Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Initial reports indicate that Shuttlec...
Brendan Turnbull,56,couldn't believe his eyes when he read the last four digits of the raffle ticket he bought at the Make-A-Threat Foundation's charity picnic. He had Just won a 100 watt LED light bulb. A prize worth a whopping $17,000 dollars. T...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock had given up all hope on the family's only remaining cat last week. The cat, Scrappy, daughter of the legendary Beryl, suffered a serious trauma last Tuesday, spending all night in the back garden and refusing all attempts to coax her back indoors. Early indications suggest that she had been bitten, although there were no immediately obvious injuries. At some po...
According to sources, local man, Martin Shuttlecock has announced that he is losing the will to live after being subjected to continuous abuse on what was once his favourite internet website, TheSpoof.com Long suffering wife Anne, looking grievous...
Residents of the pretty Irish village of Ardfinnian in County Tipperary reacted in shock and disbelief when their town hall disappeared. Crowds gathered around the site of the building, which had been closed down for several years following a move...
A local railway station has won a top award in a prestigious national competition. Travellers love Upper Appleby-cum-Lower-Diggshollow station so much they voted overwhelmingly to make it Best Local Station in the Our Railway Stations Are Really N...
Accident prone local man, Martin Shuttlecock, world famous pillock, renowned for breaking bones (a thumb, anyway) splitting eyebrows, catching blisters, getting sacked from his job for being a stroppy bastard and having an undercarriage like two poun...
The police have fired their regular police artist after discovering that the photo-fits he had been producing were really, really shit. Neville Dobbins somehow managed to evade attention from his bosses over the fact that the pictures he had been...
A local albino from the community has been complaining about practically everything he sees or hears lately. Larry Smith has become a hateful bastard, regularly calling into local radio talk shows or writing letters in the local rags about what he...
Local man, Terry Gorman, of Sandwich Street, Norwich, has admitted to accidentally putting the bins out on the wrong day. Terry explains: "Our bins are usually put out on a Wednesday night, for collection on a Thursday morning, but for some reason...
A woman from a shady valley somewhere in Devon got seven shades of shit kicked out of her after mistakenly parading around in 18th Century frilly clothes. Miss Dorothy Danube, a foxy lady who hides beneath an outward spinster librarian appearance,...
A woman in the quaint village of Cogley-on-Knob has made a formal complaint to a clothing manufacturer after purchasing a new blouse that had no head hole. Mrs Catherine Belchor - a former mud-wrestling semi-finalist at the school sports day, 1983...
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