Monday, 21 March 2011

image for Local Man Puts Out Bins On Wrong Night - Wife Complains
Our domestic waste and recycling would have sat there for a whole day, in the rain

Local man, Terry Gorman, of Sandwich Street, Norwich, has admitted to accidentally putting the bins out on the wrong day.

Terry explains: "Our bins are usually put out on a Wednesday night, for collection on a Thursday morning, but for some reason, I put the bins out a day early on Tuesday night instead."

Unable to take any personal responsibility for his actions, Terry blames his confused mental state on his job.

"I'd had a bit of a busy day at work, and when I got home I was a little bit tired. I guess I must have got the days mixed up. I thought Tuesday was Wednesday or vice-versa. I feel like such a fool - Our domestic waste and recycling would have sat there for a whole day, in the rain. I can't imagine what the neighbours' must have thought?"

Terry admits that his mistake has caused his relationship with his wife considerable strain.

"Obviously, it hit my wife hard. I think 'Complete Numpty' were the words she used. We've had our ups and downs. Who hasn't? But this is the worst I can remember it - well, there was that time I fucked her sister of course, but we've moved on from that. I just hope we can do the same with this."

Despite the doom and gloom, Terry still feels he can salvage something from the situation.

"I can beat this. I plan to put a reminder on my Outlook and a posted-note on my fridge. You've not heard the last of Terry Gorman!" said the man.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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