Beijing,China/ Toxic Junk Export News - Despite massive infusions of cash into the sagging US economy, the biggest STIMULUS appears to be the unprecedented outpouring of cash to snap up anything dealing with the Coronation of Barry O'Bama, the Iris...
World newsreaders, competing for the prestigious Onomatopoeic Awards, have now said 'Barackobama' more than 700,000,000,000 times. This tops the previous record of 687,384,107,226 times that the word 'Kalashnikov' has been uttered on air. A spokes...
In a move that critics think might be taking the Lincoln role model a bit too far, Barack Obama has officially changed his name to Abie Baby. The decision seems to have been prefigured by significant evidence: Hanging around the Lincoln Memorial a...
Washington, DC - Reportedly, Obama got the idea while on his historical train ride, taking the very same route that then President-elect Lincoln took to on his way to Washington, DC for his inauguration over a century ago. "I could see him [Obam...
Washington AC/DC - (Whitewater/Blackwater Mess): Democratic Party central casting is cocking a very haughty, toxic snook at fever-pitch warnings that January 20th's apolcalyptic astrology will upstage their Inauguration Day circus freakshow. The...
Washington,DC/ Screw Magazine/Life Styles Section - President Elect Obama is not wasting any time instituting his STIMULUS package for average Americans, starting off with a FREE SEX edict to reward followers attending his inauguration! Declaring...
President-elect Barack Obama has been presented with a specially-designed mobile communications device to commemmorate his inauguration as First Black US President in history on 20 January. As well as making routine telephone calls, however, the P...
John O'Neill and his Swift Boat Veterans for Truth have announced that Barrak Obama is really not Black O'Neill was quoted by the International Enquirer as saying "He just painted his face and hired a Black woman to pretend to be his wife "...
Quainton Road, Bucks - Thomas was "Chuffed!" said a spokesperson, "When we got the call from the US, he made tracks immediately to speed to the President Elect's request." "We had to keep the news secret, under threat of water-boarding or extraord...
Ballybollox Castle - (AssoCIAted Mess): The Queen has barricaded herself into the Oswald Mosley Blackshirt Memorial Wing in Ballybollox Castle. Courtiers fear she suspects she will be 'involuntarily euthanised' in a 1936 royal copycat procedure, t...
Hollywood CA-- Academy Award winning actress Halle Berry was chosen today to portray the early years of Barack Obama. The biographical movie will focus on Obama's early years in Hawaii. Ms. Halle said she's thrilled to be chosen for such an importa...
NEW YORK CITY, New York - President Barack Obama met with television talk show host Barbara Walters and he offered her the position of United States ambassador to the African country of Zimbabwe. Ms. Walters who is 79, graciously accepted Presiden...
(New York-NY) Coming off a contentious session of "The View", conservative blond Ann Coulter continues her bashing of First Lady to be Michelle Obama, calling her a Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis wannabe. However, Coulter has only praise for Cindy McCain...
Washington AC/DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): The Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies has confirmed today that the astrologically-sensitive January 20th Presidential Inauguration Date was picked for 'special relationship' reasons. "The C...
Soon-to-be President Barack Obama has taken credit for the amazing successful crash landing of an aeroplane in the Hudson River in New York. The plane got into difficulty shortly after take-off from La Guardia airport and the pilot, Captain Cheesl...
Pilot Chesley Sullenberger will head the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA). President-elect Barack Obama announced the appointment Friday morning. "Sullenberger has demonstrated a unique understanding of aviation safety," said Obama. The pilot...
London - (Make-Mine-A-Whopper Mess): A huge twelve inch erection has suddenly appeared on the newly unveiled waxwork model of a 'beaming' Barack Obama at London's Madame Tussauds. "We noticed the unexpected appendage standing to attention this mo...
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