US President Barack Obama has said the contraction of the US economy in the final quarter of 2008 will become "a disaster" for the country. Speaking at the White House, he also said that what had started out as 'a blip', had first become a slump,...
USA/ Compiled AP Reports - The Democratic Congress today in a partisan party vote, set aside over $4b in Bail Out funds in response to overwhelming pleas from State Governments that they needed the money for new signs dedicating taxpayer funded publi...
San Francisco,CA/ Office of Sexual Promiscuity - House Speaker Nancy Pelosi invoked all her vindictive power today to punish a constituent who recently had Octuplets, adding to her existing family of 6 , by sending her back to Bangladesh. Pelosi cal...
(Washington, D.C.) A day after President Obama read an article that Wall Street bankers paid themselves 18 billion dollars in bonuses out of the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP), funds allocated to open up lending and credit, the President is pro...
MALIBU BEACH, California - Pamela Anderson, noted actress, glamour model, and sex symbol has revealed that she has had a secret crush on Barack Obama for almost a year. Anderson said that she wanted to get this secret off of her ample chest before...
Washington, DC - As further poof that change has really come to the White House, President Barack Obama announced today that he is introducing 'Thank God It's Friday' business causal dress, everyday. The Obama administration ushers in the new dre...
New measures to combat Federal offences against the USA come into effect tomorrow! Welcoming the reforms in the Obama Offences Law (2004) that applies to Illinois, Judge Illy Smudge said; "The new offence of spoof writing provides for a vital new...
As expected, the monthly report on new births in the US revealed that Barack was the number one boys name for children born in January. Having seen President Obama ride a wave of popularity over the last six months, the name Barack, arabic in orig...
Recently acquired transcripts show the Obama family conducted a seance to contact Barack Obama's mother, Ann Dunham Soetoro. They tried to conceal the ritual from the public to avoid associations with Nancy "Crazy Lady" Reagan. During this ghost...
President Barack Obama trusted her judgment enough to put Caroline Kennedy on his team to help select his Vice President. She proved to be an exemplary choice. No drama Obama got no drama, no leaks, no humming, or hints, and out popped Senator Joe Bi...
First black US President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle, are to become part of a unique and bizarre clinical experiment designed to safeguard the future of the presidency, and the security of the great American nation - the pair are to be cloned.
The Chinese government continues to strike blow after blow against the surging capitalist market of online pornography. Their efforts have culminated in a month long campaign which shut down over 1,250 porn sites. In a valiant attempt to save the...
President Barack Hussein Obama will now be known as St. Barack the First. Pope Benedict announced the Beatification this morning in a press conference from the Vatican. This is an unusual move as, traditionally, new saints must first be dead. Th...
Dubai/UAE Plumbing News - The shit has been running non stop down hill in this mega pseudo Disney Land for the Mega Rich and "Look I'm Famous" crowd with announcements that billions of gallons of raw sewerage is being pumped directly into the oce...
The United States will be rearranging their Federal Holidays again. The news upset printers of calendars everywhere as many 2010 editions had already been submitted for early printing. The new holiday will be called Freedom Day and will be celebr...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Following the House of Representatives' passage of an $819 billion economic stimulus bill without the benefit of one single Republican vote, President Obama has proposed a revolutionary new bill providing augmentative surgery for H...
Michael Eavis, founder of the Glastonbury festival, has managed to pull off another amazing booking for the Glastonbury headliner as recently inagurated President Barack Obama was confirmed as playing the 2009 concert. A number of people had quest...
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