Governor David Paterson's Selection

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Thursday, 29 January 2009

image for Governor David Paterson's Selection

President Barack Obama trusted her judgment enough to put Caroline Kennedy on his team to help select his Vice President. She proved to be an exemplary choice. No drama Obama got no drama, no leaks, no humming, or hints, and out popped Senator Joe Biden, the man who capsulized Rudolph Giuliani by reducing him to: a noun, a verb and 9/11.

Caroline Kennedy was born into politics. She has government service in her DNA. While still a child, one of her homes was the White House. A great-grandfather was mayor of Boston. Her father was President. Two uncles in the U.S. Senate. A cousin's husband is Governor of California. There are also relatives in government. The Kennedy name is synonymous with politics. The term, "A Kennedy" means being part of the JFK clan.

So Governor David Patterson, who became governor of New York by virtue of his predecessor getting caught with his pants down, had the opportunity to replace Senator Hillary Clinton, with Caroline Kennedy. Ms. Kennedy voiced interest in the position. Great for the state. Great for reelection. Decisive. Opportunistic? Yeah, but hey, that's politics. She also had a direct line to the President's ear and New York is in a financial pinch.

This was Patterson's first opportunity to take a giant Empire State political leap into the big time. His last stand was an embarrassing public confession of past drug use, cocaine, marijuana, being unfaithful to his wife; his wife with a: You did what? expression. People hoped the confessions would end. Bad for the state. Bad for reelection. Derisive. The yuk factor was growing.

Instead, Patterson decided to play a cat and mouse game about Hillary's replacement. Make it suspenseful. Who is in contention today? Who is not? To decide or not to decide. Hum. Hum. Hum.

Caroline Kennedy withdrew her name.

He could have picked a winner. He hummed instead. When he runs for election as Governor in 2010, the voters will have their collective turn to hum.

Like tires talking, humming along, rolling over the Brooklyn Bridge during heavy traffic, "...he's a dope...he's a dope...he's a dope..."

Read more by this author:

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more