It's Spider-Man week in NYC. To celebrate, the world-famous Carnegie Deli has announced a special sandwich. It's called "The Spidey." At Grand Central Station yesterday the man himself talked about the sandwich and said he couldn't wait to dig his...
According to NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg, that is. He was reading an article, "Asteroid weighed from millions of miles away," on Softpedia.com, when he began jumping up and down for joy. Not satisfied with his plan to limit the size of sugary drinks...
New York City Mayor, NeverBloomed, who in all honestly from the looks of him has never had a piece of trans fat pass his lips, more or less a really Super Duper Big Gullapi, has now put into law that no one shall have a really supery sugary wonderful...
In his never-ending assault on obesity, NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg has ruled that as of July 1, 2012, restaurants in the five boroughs will now serve all foods on plates no larger than five inches in diameter. The Mayor, in yesterday's news confe...
After easily pushing through his ban on sugar sodas as part of his War on Obesity, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is now considering closing down the popular restaurant district of Little Italy. Bloomberg claims the historic area's regula...
New York's diminutive mayor has launched a campaign to shrink the city's citizenry down to size - one resident at a time. The effort began today with a ban on super-sized sugared drinks and will progress with the construction of "fat farms" in ea...
New York City - The collective IQ of Wall Street executives has dropped below the mental retardation level for the first time ever, prompting the Federal Reserve to impose the "too dumb to fall" provisions of the Barney Frank Act. Implementing a s...
Here are six unidentified quotes uttered by either New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg or German dictator Adolf Hitler. Test your knowledge of the world's fastest growing political scheme by correctly identifying who said what. 1."'I have my own army... which is the seventh largest army in the world." Answer: No, this wasn't a boast by Hitler about his SS storm troopers. It's Mayor Mike warning t...
Police in New York have announced a plan to block the city's New Year's Eve celebration, contending that its crowd control responsibilities in Times Square interfere with a more essential duty. "The public forgets that New York is one of the world...
New York - The international financial industry now controls Heaven as well as Hell. After years of behind-the-scenes maneuvering and back room deals, Wall Street officially became a major religion of the world this morning. With a hierarchy mirro...
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg says his decision to drink a cup of coffee yesterday morning was "his decision, and his decision alone." The Flute tooting ankle tickler insisted his girlfriend was wrong to tweak his nipple and danced her soc...
New York - Mayor Michael Bloomberg has called off the Thanksgiving Day Parade, charging that the event is a public health and safety hazard. Following a strategy he developed in evicting Occupy Wall Street from the financial district, Bloomberg th...
NEW YORK - Carl Spackler, the golf course maintenance man of Caddyshack fame, was commissioned by New York Mayor Bloomberg to clear out the thousands of Occupy Wall Street varmints who had taken over the space for nearly two months. Bloomberg said...
NEW YORK - Mayor Michael Bloomberg, tiring of the antics of the "Occupy Wall Street" groupies, issued a warning that may seem draconian, especially to those who belong to certain groups which Bloomberg has decreed are anathema to the well-being of th...
ALASKA - As Occupy Wall St. protests continue to expand in influence other brand revolutionaries are becoming less relevant. Occupy Wall, now entering their fifth week of demonstrations in lower Manhattan's Zuccotti Park, has rubbed the shoulders of...
NEW YORK CITY - Considering the Occupy protests that have slowed business as usual in many financial centers, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg called up his pal, Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi and asked him if he wanted to found a coun...
Trenton, New Jersey - Gov. Chris Christie, who turned down the chance to run for president of the United States earlier this week, has announced his candidacy for Ruler of Occupied Wall Street. "Being president is not for me. You have to be certif...
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