I am a Roman Catholic clergyman, a Jesuit. From 1991 through the fall of 1994, I lived in American Fork, Utah, a then small, village between Salt Lake City and Provo. I was a missionary to the Mormons. I was also deeply under cover. For the first year-and-a-half my cover was that of a bar fly with my own stool at the le Sabre Lounge in American Fork, an honest to goodness bar (a private cl...
SALT LAKE CITY - A splinter group of the Mormon religion, which goes by the name of The Benevolent Old-Fashioned Mormons, has expressed dismay, disappointment, and anger at Romney's choice of vice-presidential running mate. BOFM director, Loxley E...
Special to TP News - Physicists at the CERN Laboratory in Switzerland announced that the Higgs boson, the so-called "God particle," resembles the Mormon angel Moroni. Moroni is the keeper of the golden plates on which is inscribed the Book of Mormon.
TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - Mitt Romney's presidential campaign tour bus pulled into Tuscaloosa, Alabama, the town made famous by the 60s Petula Clark song, "Me Bloomin' Heart's In Merry Olde England But Me Naughty Bits Are In Tuscaloosa." Romney spoke...
Cleveland, Ohio, the Home of Rock and Roll - A group of self-described "Mormon archaeologists" were arrested today at the Whiskey Island Akzo-Noble salt mine in Cleveland, Ohio. "I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw what they were doing to that...
Likely Teapublican presidential candidate Mitt Romney revealed that he will be purchasing a new clothes washer for wife Ann this week. "I think it's the ideal gift for a stay-at-home mom like Ann," said Romney during a break from the campaign trail.
CHICAGO - GOP presidential front runner Mitt Romney and his wife Ann attended a showing of the new super heroes film The Avengers. The blockbuster movie broke the all-time opening weekend record with ticket sales of over $200 million. After vie...
Mitt Romney, under increasing pressure to keep certain details about his past a secret, decided to sit down with his son, Matt Romney, and have a chat last week, according to a witness. "First of all, don't talk about Mormons," said the Republican presidential hopeful. "I do not wish to address that issue, so keep quiet! Not even a BYU co-ed joke, do you understand?" His son replied, "Okay,...
AMERICAN FORK, UTAH (ABSNN) - Quick to reap political hay in the wake of the stunning news that Mitt Romney was excommunicated by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the Mormons, presidential hopeful Rick Santorum began studies to co...
SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH (ABSNN) - Mitt Romney, the front runner in the chase for the Republican nomination for President of the United States was excommunicated from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the Mormons, after it was revealed Sat...
With a new head of steam from his three electoral victories on Tuesday night, Rick Santorum is daring to think what might have been unthinkable just a week ago and remains improbable - particularly from a costume perspective - that he can dispatch Ne...
Salt Lake, UT - Although Jail Bate Bougers died at birth, Mormon Elder Swarmen Jerks became enraptured with her story as portrayed on T.V. and convinced the Governor to grant him leave to attend a marriage ceremony at the Temple. Wedding the dead is...
Manchester, New Hampshire - Newt Gingrich, shaken by his fourth place finish in the Iowa Caucus, requested that all of the candidates appearing Saturday night at Saint Anselms appear sans clothing so that Mitt Romney would not gain an unfair advantag...
Mitt Romney's Mormon Holy Quest to lock down the 2012 Republican presidential nomination was sharply undercut this morning when eight Iowans who had apparently participated in caucus while under the influence of various dance club substances woke up...
The Vatican - The introduction of a new Missal, the prayer book that serves as the script for the Catholic Mass, has resulted in a Holy War between two of the world's religions. Upon publication of the new spiritual guide last weekend, Pope Bened...
Following in the footsteps of President Barack Obama who ran out of Jeremiah Wright's Trinity United Church of Christ in order to become President in 2008 today Mitt Romney was born again into Evangelicism. In a public dunking in the Jordan River tod...
Frank Ashton, one of the official organists for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, went on a shooting rampage after a recent choir concert, killing or wounding two members of the choir, four members or the Orchestra at Temple Square, and eleven concert goe...
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