Health officials were warning today, that new legal high, SNOT, is dangerous and should not be swallowed. Dr. Snivel, from the General Medical council said; "SNOT should not be sniffed at. The nose swells, the throat becomes dry and constant snee...
"A group of elderly people who are frustrated by the police's inability to tackle local drug dealers have equipped themselves with high-tech gadgets and begun a surveillance operation to stop them." So reads a headline in an onsite newspaper toda...
BOGOTA, Colombia - Taking its cue from American and British reality television shows, Colombia's first ever reality show, "Make it From Cocaine" is a complete and utter failure. Columbian authorities were skeptical at first to even allow the airi...
In yet another example of the government throwing good money at bad research, scientific researchers in Michigan were given $1.2 million to study which flavors of foods crackheads prefer in order to keep the items stocked at local food pantries.
Mexico - (Grupero Stuff): Mexican singer Sergio Vega was gunned down this weekend on his way to a concert in Singalonga - er...Sinaloa! - state. The 40 year-old entertainer, known throughout Mexico as El Shaka, had only just publicly denied earli...
AMSTERDAM, HOLLAND - "Birthers" have long contested Hawaii as Obama's place of birth because of "Left-leaning" efforts to hide nearly every document related to his past. The short-form, or "live birth," document repeatedly cited by administration off...
The British Government employment team have come up with a bold new direction: to use drug abuse, unemployment to have them working together. A new department will be formed to train the new recruits called "Auntie GOV". Government survey: Name - Weed Speed Government employment scheme: Name - Snappy-Daze... Drugs used, were Speed and Weed. Unemployed used, were Tokers and Speeder...
Lindsay Lohan: "I can't BELIEVE I never thought of that! Can I change my pleas in all of my court cases?" Jeremy London, the 37 year old actor that played Griffin on some show that the chick from Wild Things was on, claimed that he was forced at g...
The 6 year old daughter of adulterous sperminator Jesse James and his vagina-for-hire ex-wife Janine Lindemulder might be the only member of the family with a legitimate income: Lindsay Lohan just hired the first grader to be her new assistant. M...
Former Banality Fair cover star Robert Pattinson went on Timeline to talk about the twilight of his career and his unfortunate demise in the year 2016. "I guess I just thought if too many good things happen, then you're gonna die at 30," said the...
It hasn't been easy for marijuana growers these days. Along with the downturn in the world wide economy, pot farmers are facing increasing legalization in states such as California and Colorado where anyone with a pulse can easily acquire a medicina...
Phoenix Joe was privileged to attend a news conference held at top London hotel and sponsored by leading drug companies where Dr Jonathon Livingstone-Foreskin presented a new 'Stupid Pill' he has developed. The Dr began by explaining "as society...
Following the governments success in promoting awareness of the symptoms of strokes, they now want to use the same strategy to round up heroin addicts. "To spot the signs of heroin addiction, you have to think and act FAST. Do they really need mon...
If you are a taxpayer in England and you think you are squeaky clean when it comes to illegal drugs etc., think again! Apparently, some of your tax monies are helping pay for methadone or other heroine substitutes for inmates in the prison system. Hey! They have 'rights' too you know! Poor babies! "The report by independent think-tank Policy Exchange warned that by next year 73,000 priso...
VENICE, CALIFORNIA-Among the tributes pouring in for recently-deceased countercultural film icon Dennis Hopper, is one those close to him say he would have appreciated more than anything: watching Hopper's award-winning Easy Rider whilst in a sta...
Mary Poppins, the famous nanny, was once again being held at Paddington Green police station on suspicion of possession of illegal drugs, with intent to supply. Poppins, 82 who was immortalised in the 1964 film Mary Poppins, as portrayed by Julie...
Sofia, Bulgaria - (Spooky Mess): Bulgarian telecom giant (sic) Mob-I-Tell has suspended a 'cherished' cellphone number following complaints that every owner/user in the last decade has died in horrible circumstances. The much prized 0888 888 888 d...
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