"Unless they want to find themselves the subject of a huge lawsuit, they better knock off using the word 'football' for their wussy game and this includes 'futbol', as well." This statement was attributed to Knute Redknuckle, the football commission...
Here we are then. Bugglestone. A bit of a comedown from Anfield. Mustn't grumble though. It could be worse. Could've been Portsmouth, or Luton. The thoughts of Jaffa Gonzalez as he parked the Renault Kangoo outside Cemetery Park on his first day of managing Bugglestone United - The Buggers. Gutted at being sacked by Liverpool for failing to finish in the top 15, Jaffa was understandabl...
Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren were seen at the Manchester United match on Tues. March 6 (Man Utd 1, Wolves 0). It was so unexpected that paparazzi missed the whole thing. Woods and Nordegren arrived and left on private charter plane and stayed on...
A man was arrested on Merseyside today for impersonating the dodgy tickered, Liverpool manager. Kenny Ryan from the Pool, who looks uncannily like Rafa was attempting to board a bus near the famous Anfield ground when he got into a row about the lack...
The reason for the shocking performance of Liverpool FC this season had almost been discovered today. Cleaners at Bell End Community Centre in Manchester investigated "muffled" noises coming from lockers in the changing rooms. Upon closer inv...
Rafa Benitez has been sacked as manager of Liverpool FC following yet another defeat. The board took their decision immediately after the defeat tonight by Lille in the Europa league. Sammy Lee, Benitez's assistant is likely to take charge of first t...
"Golden Balls" David Beckham returned to Old Trafford and the whole blaze of publicity was turned into a rather "damp squid" after Rooney and Co spoilt his party In fact Sir Alex was so overjoyed at stuffing Beckhams present team of OAP,s, AC Mila...
Beck's is getting excited. Yes Becks is getting excited about the game with Man. U. He's been jumping up and down on his bed for ages. "Arm so excited A can 'ardly contain meself. I just 'ope A don't do sumfin' stupid when A see some of me old mates again. A don't wanna cry wiv emotion coz den A wouldn't be able to see de ball would A?" "Ar've already been told not t'do too much 'uggin...
As all the gory details are gradually rising to the fore regarding the Glazer family's ruthless financial exploitation of Manchester United FC, we decided that it was high time we investigated whether there was a case to answer, or whether the Manche...
London - (Offside Rule): The England coach is mad as hell: someone has recorded his entire World Cup strategy briefing on their mobile. And the bugged plot has found its way into the hands of a debt collector arm of a foreign bank whose existence...
Norwich - Radical plans to overhaul the pay of Premier League footballers were announced Monday by Chief Executive Lord Peter Scudamore. "We are committed to ensuring that: our fans get value for money; our players are paid according to what their...
Manchester United are being forced to make to changes to their world famous and hugely profitable brand name. The European Commission have said that the name "Man United" is too sexist and the club must henceforth call themselves (Wo)Man United.
Gordon Brown, the Force's sweetheart, risked his popular standing yesterday by declaring that : " Football isn't what it used to be in the 70's and early 80's." " I used to love" he explained " to stand in the terraces watching the players in t...
I have 2, as yet, unworn, England Qualifier Shirts which I am 'thinking' of putting up for Sale, Having read in the Mirror today that Owen is 'out for the season' and Fergie's 'rather peed off at Rooney, who can't say NO', I'm left wondering if I'll ever get to wear either shirt now. I usually don a jersey whilst watching the EPL, World Cup, FA Cup, Carlin cup etc. games whilst living here in Can...
"Play on Pompey, Pompey play on" - the famous chimes will ring out again now that the South Coast's only premiership club has been saved by an unlikely benefactor - step forward Sir Alex Ferguson's Manchester United. In a statement Man United said...
Lady Gaga took part in a woman's soccer match recently and got Ga Ga goals in fact three goals, she scored a hatrick which is probably appropriate for the person with the worlds biggest hat collection. Lady Gaga mad about hats and fish and chips w...
It had to happen didn't it? "I Dreamed a Dream" her signature ditty was made for the unwilling stars of the Daily Poop and every nightclub from the West End to deepest Essex. Essex girls don't like you subo, you take away their limelight. Subo just f...
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