People who prepare their own sandwiches from early childhood instead of relying on a pre-packed lunchbox from their parents or someone else preparing their sandwiches for them are more likely to be successful and positive in life than those who expec...
An exhaustive study carried out by experts from two British Universities over three years has shown that there is now only an 13% happiness difference on the Mallard-Roberts scale, comparing achievement/satisfaction/lifestyle. The respected measu...
Everybody wants to make their life a little better. We've sent out a score of interviewers, and had them talk to blokes wandering around aimlessly in front of our building, and composed a list of the top 10 ways for anyone to make their life better. * Win The Lottery * Marry A Rich Person * Get A Job * Drive A Sports Car * Eat More Oysters * Cure A Major Disease * Change Identity With S...
Doctor Seymour Kuntz of the University of Alabama today announced that dietary choices have a direct correlation with a state of happiness. Previous wisdom has dictated that diets are usually depressing things, reliant on such antiquated concepts...
"I was making you a matchstick model of the Taj Mahal as an introductory showing off gift, when I inadvertently superglued my face to the ceiling. My faithful dog, Osama, noticed my plight, and attempted to dial your number then put the phone into speakerphone mode. Sadly he transposed the last 2 digits and I ended up calling a Double Glazing call centre. For 7 hours, I pleaded for them to cal...
"Life isn't exactly fair to men. For instance, when we are born, our mother's get the compliments and the flowers. Then when we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity. However, when we die, our widows get the life insurance and winters in Florida. What is it exactly that women want to be liberated from?"...
A 'traveller' living in a wet house in North London has agreed a bid of more than £35,000 after putting his "entire life" up for sale following a downturn in fortunes that saw him spiral out of control. Street drinker John Marshall,...
A clinically depressed Australian living in America has agreed to a bid of £5 after putting his "entire life" up for sale following a weekend-long drinking binge with friends.
Hades City Venus -- Disappointed scientists announced today there is no on extravenusian life on Earth. The space agency's ambitious Phoenix Earth Lander conducted several tests at the Blue Planet's equator and found the planet was sterile. T...
Scientists in Omaha, have proven beyond all doubt, that Choose Your own Adventure books are not to be taken seriously as a guide to life.
ARLINGTON, VA - As part of an initiative to streamline patient care and make it more affordable to anyone who seeks it, the American Psychiatric Association has eliminated all but one mental disorder from its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Ment...
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