A scientific study has shown that young men who drive cars with very noisy engines are more likely to have tiny penises. There is a direct correlation between the decibel levels of male drivers cars and the girth and length of their penis. Apparen...
The Government has outlined plans to create a separate series of roads purely for the benefit of drivers between the ages of 18 to 24. The roads will be 5-times wider than an average road so that the impatient little bastards can pass out at will...
Unnamed sources have revealed that in lieu of bail-out money, the Ford Motor Company threw untold millions of dollars behind presidential candidate Barack Obama's run for office, in exchange for some very subtle but strategic product placement.
Some call it the last act of a desperate CEO; other industry analysts label the move "brilliant." Sources inside General Motors have revealed that days before he stepped down, GM's former CEO Rick Wagoner introduced a plan to start building Chevro...
Failing to jump on board the lost Air France flight headlines Jaggedone's CIA (cockroach infiltration army) has decided to report on another lost cause, giant panda, GM! Yesterday "The Black Messiah" and his disciples launched the saviour package...
Bosses at the world biggest car makers are considering a radical new scheme in a last ditch attempt to return to making poorly built cars that handle like overladen boats in a force 9 gale. They have watched in shock and awe as Gordon Brown and Alist...
Chrysler Corp Chairman Tom LaSorda announced today that he sees light at the end of the tunnel for the beleaguered automaker and foresees Chrysler emerging from bankruptcy and making a small profit no later than the fall of 2077. "There are many c...
Those renowned makers of quality, luxury, top of the range cars called the Mafiosi Fiat Group run by their owner Don Cor-flee-ownee, are about to become the second largest car manufacturer on the planet. Only Germany's Volkswagen is larger. Mafios...
DETROIT, MI - Lido Anthony "Lee" Iacocca, 84, nearly died in his home this morning while on the phone with Chryslur executives. When Iacocca took the helm of Chryslur in 1978, it was a struggling company, bailed out by the federal government in 19...
Tokyo, Japan - the world's leading city in innovation has just released its latest and brightest invention - a car made of used milk bottles which runs on recycled sewerage. The invention is being hailed one of the greatest of all time, perhaps even...
Motor City - Saved by a government bailout for the second time by holding its employees hostage for a second time, the buzz around Capitol Hill is that Chrysler won over President Barack Obama with new concept car design they call: "The Obama-Mobile"...
Washington, D.C. - Not since the days of Bill Clinton's cloakroom trysts has such a scandal rocked Washington. President Barrack Obama has been caught in a compromising position, giving GM some head. The financially troubled auto maker had recent...
In today's budget, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Alistair Darling has introduced a scheme which is already popular in Germany and Spain called 'Scrappage'. The scheme will run until March 2010 - a one-year window, if you like. It is intended to bo...
The Government has announced that cars that are over ten years old 'most probably' contain Red Mercury, a substance that many scientists say does not exist. But it is widely thought that it can be used to find treasure, ward off evil spirits or even...
Friction has been reduced between those that taketh and those that giveth in the car industry and government by the recent re-discovery of an endless supply of energy. Within inches of your laptop is an endless supply of energy that might one day f...
Detroit MI: The Detroit Automotive Digest published the following letter from GM's new CEO that was sent to all GM employees. The letter fills in some key elements leading up to the government bailout and bankruptcy of the giant automaker. OFFICE OF THE GENERAL MOTORS CORPORATION CEO 31 March 2009 TO: GM Management, Labor Unions, an...
Since Barack Obama has taken over the US auto industry, his usually eloquent speechifying has turned into the gross vernacular of the car sales business. "Have I got a deal for you! Take a look! Take a Look!" have become the common parlance of th...
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