Cosa Nostra/Mafiosi Fiat devour European General Motors

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 4 May 2009

image for Cosa Nostra/Mafiosi Fiat devour European General Motors
who really won ze war?

Those renowned makers of quality, luxury, top of the range cars called the Mafiosi Fiat Group run by their owner Don Cor-flee-ownee, are about to become the second largest car manufacturer on the planet. Only Germany's Volkswagen is larger.

Mafiosi Fiat are attempting to take over that jurassicly run, CEO multi-billion bonus pay-outer, the European Operations of General motors, Opel, Vauxhall and Saab all about to fall under the new name of "Don Cor-Flee-Ownee Group of useless car manufacturers and Sons + Cosa Nostra" The changing of their corporate identity is an attempt to breakway from normal mafiosi operations (murders, corruption, prostitution, crap car manufacturing, drug dealing, etc.) and turn the Don Cor-Flee-Owmee group into a very sinister, major global player.

Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) sent their superstar "Bella" reporter "Mussolini Meat Hooker" along to proceedings and he reported back with the following, world shattering report:

Don Cor-flee-Ownmee told the yankeeees to fuck off back to that shithole in Detroit, flog their crap operations to the mafiosi/cosa nostra group, otherwise they would wake up next morning with severed, bloody heads of Italien Swines in their beds and no fuckeeeng bonus either!

The Yankeeees agreed to sell for the sum of a paultry 20 million Italien liras (out-dated Mafia currency but who gives a shit, severed swines heads in their beds, oh Dios spare me the thought!)

The Yankeees fucked off back to deserted Detroit whilst Don Cor-Flee-Ownmee flung open the doors in his luxury pentouse offices in Torino to much more important guests dressed in jackboots and Swastika clad uniforms, "Heil Fucking Mussolini Hitler" they chanted zusammen, together, as one!

By now our "Bella" star reporter the "Mussolini Meat Hooker" was feeling quite at home: "We have zem by ze balls mein Italiani Komrades, ve the Masterrace, Cosa Nostra Italia, Deutschland and ze slit-eyes really won ze fucking war, Sieg Heil, Sieg fucking Heil!!"

"99,9% of the cars on the planet are now Deutsch, Italien and Japaneze, fuck ze Jews the Brits, ze Chinks and ze Yanks, let us celebrate our victory in ze "New World Order" who needs concentration camps when you can win ze war so easily, imbeciles!"

"Now we take ze rest, banks, oil reserves, gold reserves, everyzing, build our mighty powerful armies once more, Silvio "Son of Mussolini" Berlusconi along with our German nationalist leader Nazti Goeballs and our Japanese friend Emperor Looni-Kami-Kazi will conquer ze Welt."

Cockroach Star reporter "Mussolini Meat Hooker", shocked and bewildered, scampered out of the penthouse relaying this latest scoop that will make the world really shit in their pants!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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