President Barack Obama has appointed another Czar to his cabinet and created another $350,000 a year government job (with benefits and pension plan). Keith Olbermann of NBC News, possibly the biggest white Obama apologist, has been appointed the new...
BALTIMORE, Maryland - Dr. Hannibal Lecter, noted forensic psychologist and epicurean cannibal, has stepped forward to suggest a new detention plan for the Gitmo detainees that some say "tests the bounds" of the American legal system. President Obama...
US President Barack Obama has been awarded the Turner Prize for Art, it was announced today. The award comes hot on the heels of the shock announcement that President Obama had been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, and that he has also been shortlis...
A new gene has been isolated in the serum of Barack Obama's blood that is believed to extend the worlds average life expectancy to 140 years. Scientist in Berkley, CA., studying Obama's blood have isolated a gene never before discovered in homo sapie...
Yesterday in an effort to prevent more job losses in the small business arena, the Obama administration nationalized the Cookie Industry. Today Obama told reporters, "The Cookie Industry is the heart of American small business, and as American as app...
In a move that initially surprised the Washington press core Barack Obama stated in a press conference on Monday that he had just signed documents to pardon the notorious Beltway D.C. Sniper John Allen Muhammad. Mr. Muhammad who only hours ago was s...
[cue choir humming and church organ quietly playing] 'People, we are here, this is now, we have come to this holy place, this hallowed temple of Christianity, this sceptred isle of holy waffality in a sea of troubled people, troubled people I have turned my back on just as soon as I was elected. My voice beginning low then rising dramatically and self-importantly, then falling lower again insin...
Texas - (Nepotism): President Obama paid tribute to his uncle George Bush senior yesterday and praised the old war-whorse for keeping his mouth shut about his Mom, Mary Jo Kopechne. Mary Jo was Bush's sister and gave up her baby boy for adoption t...
Gettysburg, Pa - Speaking from the battlefield of America's bloodiest conflict, President Barack Obama unveiled his new plan for job security and economic reform that has some concerned. His proposal, backed by recently bailed out business leaders, c...
(Washington, D.C.) In a move as surprising as his being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, President Barack Obama announced at a press conference that he would be issuing a tax on the ReCAPTCHA system in order to pay for the projected $900 million health...
GEORGE BUSH, JR.: You all know me. You all love me. Well, some of you love me (and I love you too!) By that I mean the honest, God-fearing, me-fearing Americans who shut their traps during my administration. These blindly unquestioning subjects- er, citizens- served our country faithfully while I was in office. When I called on them to forget my administration's lax enforcement of regulation that...
Columbus, Georgia - Orly Taitz, lone crusader to unmask the foreign born communist dictator of the United States, has been fined $20,000 by one of President Obama's judges in an attempt to silence her. While most citizens have bowed to the inevita...
With long faces the Generals started to march out of President Ego's Office (ergo, President Obama's Office). The fix was in - for every 100 troops the President sends to meet General McChrystal's request for a 40,000 troop insertion into Afghan...
Washington DC: President Obama today put the US economic recovery, the war in Afghanistan/Pakistan, Iran's nuclear bomb development, the Israeli-Arab peace conference, health care reform, cap and trade and US relations with the Russians on hold.
In a controversial move, Fabio Capello has selected Barack Obama in his latest England squad. "He reminds me so much of David Beckham. Everyone asks 'How did he get there and how is he still there?' but Obama is a winner-even if everyone around him i...
The Office of Management and Budget has been requested by Presidential Order to release $115,000 per year to hire an official White House Groomer for Bo, the first pet. This groomer will have a small office in the Executive Office Building and will...
Washington,D.C.-Michelle and Barrack Obama have taken to bed for a week to promote world peace. The announcement came on the heals of the president's winning of the Nobel Peace Prize for Inactivity by a World Leader. The couple plans on spending t...
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