The mob takes over Washington: Blinky Pelosi, who looks like she went to the mattress one too many times, machine gunned down the Republican Party yesterday in a slaughter on Capital Hill reminiscent of the Valentine's Day Massacre back in the Roarin...
Barstow CA: The $15 billion Pelosi High Speed Transit Intrastate Train System (PHSTITS) first four car passenger train, carrying all 435 House Members and 100 Senators, left Barstow CA for Death Valley National Park CA. The train was pulled by an...
The California Board of Taxidermy announced today that the license of Dr. Emanuel Foreskin has been permanently revoked. The Board Certified taxidermist who first transformed the career of Speaker of the House, Congresswomen Nancy Pelosi by making h...
Washington DC: President Obama held his Health Care Reform Summit at the Blair House. At the same time the Winter Olympics speed skating competition was being held in Vancouver Canada. Democratic House Speaker Pelosi was her same old stubborn sel...
President Barack Obama finally released a copy of his birth certificate that shows he was born in a hospital in Honolulu this morning. However, there was a mix-up as Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi also released a copy of Obama's birth certifica...
Speaker Nancy Pelosi and House Democrats joined forces today to announce a new strategy for the Health Care Bill currently languishing in congress. As she has repeatedly stated Democrats will do whatever it takes to pass comprehensive health care...
Before Feb. 25, the planned date of the summit (the summit which will include President Obama as well as members of Congress), there's much work to be done. "This is our big chance to make our case on television before the American people," House...
"TELL THAT SHRILL, plastic surgeon's malpractice, four burned out bulbs short of a chandelier, skin covered skeleton in a pant suit that she should bite down on some crust with her pie hole before she criticizes me!" Unconfirmed reports from the...
Washington, DC: House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, met with the press and Congressional leaders today to discuss replacing the 2010 mid-term election cycle with a "psychic estimate" of the voters' true intent. "There are just so many distractions and in...
WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) -- Two anthropologists were killed early Thursday morning when the walls of Nacy Pelosi's vagina collapsed while they were studying Neanderthal Cave Paintings discovered therein last year. Killed were Nevada's famed Dr. Dian...
The voters have spoken, and for the first time since 1972 the Kennedy/Liberal/Democratic machine took on water, sunk, and just like Teddy those many years ago, Obama claims he tried to save it but then just walked away leaving it to suffer a silent d...
Word around Washington DC is that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is about to have her traditional frown permanently removed by cosmetic surgery. She recently told a friend: "I've had this frown since I caught Bill running around on me on our w...
HONOLULU, Hawaii - The best doctors in Hawaii examined the loudest bile slinger in America, but were literally unable to locate the source of Rush Limbaugh's alleged chest pains after he was admitted to a local hospital, according to a doctor's repor...
Those holiday partiers who think that they have to wait for Febraury 2nd (Groundhog Day) for the next official holiday have been given a reprieve. January 2nd has just been recognized by Congress as Beaver Day. Women wishing to observe the festiv...
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi celebrated Groundhog Day by removing her head from her ass. After wiping the feces from her eyes and looking around, however, she put it right back in. Spokesman Muffy Muncher said that "Nancy saw her shadow, which...
Former President, that is, Vice President Dick Cheney has had a face lift that has his eyebrows in a question mark, just like Nancy Pelosi, the Speaker of the House, but he now also has a constant smile. "I got tired of all those a**holes saying t...
Washington, D.C. - Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi announced yesterday that she will no longer support the Democratic healthcare bill, currently being debated in the United States Senate. Pelosi elaboated on her decision noting that although...
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