Some shocking revelations emerge in Seymour Basilca's recently released biography, "Lassie Was A Right Old Dog," alleging that Hollywood's all time canine favourite was no better than any other old dog. The book portrays Lassie as a hard drinking,...
Vice President Joe Biden, often accused of being asleep at the switch himself , said there was no excuse for the recent spate of potentially dangerous incidents of Airport Controllers leaving their panels for a snooze or a quickie and blamed Ronald R...
The Associated Press released an early excerpt from President Obama's speech to the Nation this afternoon in which the President will declare that the war against the Mexican drug cartels has been a well documented failure. Using the well worn m...
In the struggle to have their staff named "most obnoxiously meddling British police department", Police chiefs have resorted to some pretty lowdown tactics. There have been many instances of police being forced to focus their precious time on prosecu...
Many police forces in England and Wales have issued new guidelines that allow their officers to use 'speed' or amphetamine to stimulate their senses and enable them to work longer. Police spokesman Detective Inspector Leo Thornton explains : "I...
Charlie Sheen opened his "I'm out of a job and need a gig" comedy tour in Detroit to an unexpected but resounding set of audience initiated "Boos". Though Sheen offered a few carefully chosen four letter words about the city and his audience the foll...
Going into this afternoon's earnings report, analysts had been expecting to see crack whores report earnings of 50 cents per share. Excluding one time items, crack whores stated their quarterly earnings were 54 cents. During the same period last y...
Snow White and the seven dwarfs are back in the news after fifteen years of living in comfort and relative obscurity in their own private Hollywood Hills complex. Despite lucrative profit sharing from their last re-mastered DVD release, the troubles...
Mad Rocker Pete Doherty has been arrested after breaking into a record shop in the Bavarian town of Regensburg in Germany. The former Libertines & Babyshambles frontman was caught stealing a bundle of records and also a guitar. An eye-witness...
Mr Sheen, well known for "shining umpteen things clean" is taking actor Charlie Sheen to court. The professional cleaner, often seen sporting a handlebar moustache, leather flying jacket, flowing scarf (get on with it!) and pilot's cap is said to...
London - Pregnant women on DSS handouts have used NHS cigarette and alcohol vouchers for medicinal skunk. Last year half a million new and almost-mothers were given some £300 per annum in coupons to spend in local corner shops. Instead most of...
Under fire Libyan leader Colonel Muammar Gaddafi has blamed bin laden for the demonstrations that are wreaking havoc in his country. In a phone call to a TV station, the autocrat said that "a bin laden with a large haul of cannabis seized by Tripo...
David Cameron today confirmed that Tony Montana would be employed by the government in a drive to increase import and export figures for the UK. The self styled Cuban Mafia Man is said to have accepted the role that Lord Alan Sugar was un-able to...
Despite news reports of Mexico's 30,327th violent murder linked to government sponsored drug activity, Obama says travel is not restricted, and urges spring breakers to continue with plans to "go have a good time, get drunk, get laid....our youth ne...
Cairo - (Tootin' Khamoon): A five thousand year-old edition of an ancient almanac of Egypt's worst druggies has been discovered under the Great Pyramid of Geezer. The who's who of toxic despots, hitmen and their personal gofers was unearthed behin...
A multi million pound drug ring that used a convent outside Milan has been smashed by Italian police. Cocaine smugglers posing as pilgrims carried stashes in their prayer books in an operation organised by the convent's South American janitor.
OUCH HOLLER, Kentucky - Seasoned police in Ouch Holler, Kentucky say that they only thought that they had seen it all. A spokesperson for the OHPD, who was laughing so hard he could not remember his own name, stated that police officers Wydell "Bu...
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