The World Cup final between Spain and Holland is predicted to be a disaster by none other than Mystic Meg. Meg sees the Referee as the man responsible - showing so many red cards the game becomes a farce. 'His view' says Meg 'is that footballers w...
Things went horribly awry in Oberhausen, Germany when an order for ten octopi was filled by the local aquarium and shipped to Werner von Schottenstein's Clam Grill and Oyster Bar for the day's menu. Paul the Psychic Octopus appears to have been mista...
Anonymous businessmen from Spain have taken out a professional insurance policy on each one of Paul, the Psychic Octopus' tentacles to the tune of $8 million total to ensure that no harm comes to them before the World Cup Final Match on Sunday. Al...
Seventy years ago Germany was threatening to take over the world. Everyone knows how that ended. Well the second coming is upon us. Paul the Octopus is gaining power, brainwashing the masses, and making (Germany 1:the rest of world 0)-like predictions. Can someone at least get this thing a mustache? Granted, the Hail Paul salute would be difficult to execute for those with but two arms but we'll m...
In a final desperate attempt to tip the scales in Holland's favour all "octopussies" have been banned out of the country. Dutch aquariums and zoos have been ordered to either turn them into calamaries, chop their tentacles off or extradite them.
Paul the Psychic Octopus, which has predicted six in a row now, has predicted that Spain will defeat Holland in the championship for the World Cup in Football! There was an immediate change in the odds of bookmakers everywhere. "You can't go ag...
Premier League official Howard Webb has been chosen to referee Sunday's World Cup final between Netherlands and Spain in Johannesburg, Fifa has confirmed. However, following the recent outrage in which a clear England goal was disallowed, Fifa hav...
So here is a collection of South Africa World Cup England 2010 Statements, comments & Funnies Assembled by unpaid decrepit reporter Inchcock Chambers * What's the difference between the England World Cup team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer. * News Flash: Huge spike in sales of pink fairy tutus at Glastonbury Festival 2010 by blokes too embarrassed to wear their Eng...
The success of the German Octopus named Paul has spawned some fakes that internet users need to be aware of. There is only one real psychic octopus who resides in an aquarium in Oberhausen and his only claim to fame so far is picking World Cup winner...
The latest development in Real Madrid's desperate effort to win their tenth champions league has not stop at bringing in Jose Mourinho, the Spanish giant have lined up a move to bring in Tiger Woods to Madrid. Woods, who had gone through several i...
South Africa - (Reuterus & Gonads): It's turning out to be a right messy business. Last week's paternity announcement by Portuguese football captain Cristiano Ronaldo has left fellow internationals in stitches. Ricardo 'Kaka' Izecson dos Sa...
Paul, the psychic octopus, is now admired by all Spanish speaking people around the world, after he correctly predicted Spain's win in the semi-final against Germany this week. (Football World Cup) In Germany, where Paul resides, he has angry mobs...
As the World Cup reaches its thrilling conclusion on Sunday, it was the turn of European giants Germany and Spain to contest a very interesting game last night to see who would face Holland in the final. And it was Carles Puyol of Spain who scored...
The Isle of Wight Football League are to hold a crisis meeting next week to discuss the future league structure, writes Allan Snagg, Sports Reporter. The meeting - in the Three Archbishops pub in Brighstone - will address major concerns raised by Island clubs about the recent decision by the IOW Tuesday Afternoon League to increase the number of divisions from 12 to 2 and allow games to be play...
There seems to be no end to Paul, the psychic octopus's talent. He correctly picked Spain to win the Semi-final of FIFA's World Cup against Germany - and he was spot on. Paul is now, still in hiding as he does believe his life is in danger. His...
We can now forget the Spanish Armada. Our friends in Spain have avenged the English lads by beating our old enemy Germany. 'Viva Espana!' rings across the country and relief that maybe in the next World Cup the sound of the guitar will replace the...
FC Barcelona have revealed their desperate financial situation and could not pay the players salaries in June. They have begged Man Utd to buy their superstar, Lionel Messi. Sir Alex considered the option but snuffed Barcelona by quoting "Messi...
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