In a desperate bid to sell off every national asset whilst demonstrating his peerless negotiating brilliance to NuLabour's Benefit Claiming Clientelle; Prime minister Gordon Brown has sold the Isle o' Wight to America for $1 million dollars & a F...
Washington, DC - President Obama announced today that he is ready to open up some drilling off the coasts of the United States. However, Alaska's Bristol Bay, named after Palin's daughter, Bristol (hah, just making that part up), won't be part of...
President Barack Obama has banned Vice President Joe Bidden from any bathrooms close to where meetings are taking place after scattering the President, French President Sarkozy and reporters and photographers yesterday at the White House. "The VP...
Newly appointed labor appointee Craig Pecker, sporting a gold fez and holding the spear of destiny, pulled President Obama out of his pocket long enough for him to sign an executive order to grant Labor Unions religious status. Political experts...
From Switzerland, news of the Large Hadron Collider being revved up brought questions concerning the possible creation of a black hole that might swallow the earth. Professor Parsons, head of operations at the Swiss facility, had the following to...
Dr. Ivan Pavlov, the Russian physiologist who won the Nobel Prize in 1904 for his classical conditioning response using dogs, would be pleased to know that this type of conditioning elicited the same type of response with MSNBC propagandist, Chris Ma...
WASHINGTON - President Obama recently signed the latest version of the new health care bill, the King James version, into law after it passed through congress with much hatred and animosity. The bill, roughly 2,800 pages long, entails a universa...
WATERLOO, Iowa - President Barack Obama was in town to kick off The 97th Annual Corncob Tossing Championship and 17 Mile Three-Legged Corn Sack Race. He was asked what he thought about the former Menudo singing sensation Ricky Martin coming out. T...
The Obama administration has been watching film after film of how Fidel Castro saved his island home from greedy millionaires and made it a Paradise for the working man, if they had jobs. "We think we are capable of doing the same thing here where...
DAYTONA BITCH, FL (ABSNN) -- President Barack Obama has declared NASCAR racing to be an "illegal assembly of frigging rednecks," as well a a "huge waste of fucking time and gasoline, and rubber," with one stroke of his mighty penIs he serious? "I...
As macabre as it might appear, Barack's mother has finally provided the conclusive evidence that her son was born in Kenya on August 4, 1961. Although Ann Dunham, Barack's mother, died in 1995, she has largely remained silent over the controversy co...
Taking advantage of the Congressional recess and the absence of the Republicans in Keibasastan President Obama announced that Jimmy Hoffa had been found alive. In reaction to the news he immediately appointed the former Union boss to the position...
The President of the USA Barack Obomber is being urged to change his name because his name sounds like that of a terrorist. Lets examine this, for example if we look at Barrack in the dictionary, it means to shout against, jeer at. Then Obomber is...
When Gordon Brown landed in Washington DC, for an annual White House visit, last Friday, it was thought that he and President Obama would discuss politics, and come up with innovative strategies to tackle the economic downturn. Well, perhaps, that...
President Obama's daughters are heartbroken after he ran over and killed their dog in a White House golf cart. The president had completed a three over par round on the course behind the building when the accident happened. The six-month-old Po...
The Reverend Jesse Jackson and his evil twin Reverend Jeremiah Wright stood side by side with fists raised high and openly condemned both President Obama and his Health Care Reform. Fortunately you, the reader, did not have to sit and wait through on...
Showing his disdain for the Pentagon and its useless generals and admirals who have botched attempts to capture or kill Osama bin Laden, President Obama today selected General Field Marshall Cinque Mtume for this assignment. In doing so, he bypassed...
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