LONDON (ABSNN) -- The Man With the World's Smallest Penis has a large following. Spoof writer, Skoob1999, has called the World's First Congress of Men With Itty-bitty Penises to take place in London beginning June 14th. HRH Prince Charles will ch...
The Thames will be closed from next Tuesday for essential repairs, the River Authority announced today. Repairs will be carried out between the Thames Barrier and Kingston, with a 100% restriction on movements of water, boats, fish and sewage.
Susan Boyle's pet cat Pebbles (or PeBo as fanatics insist) was spotted earlier driving the number 29 bus in central London. Pebbles moved to London last year after SuBo set off on her international travels hotly pursued by red scarf wearing wealthy f...
The Blackpool Tower is to be moved to London today because London is a bit warmer than it is in Blackpool. There has not been a summer in Blackpool for years now,long hot sunny days are a thing of the past as Global Freezing continues to bite. Whi...
Thames Water engineers finally managed to clear the main sewer pipe running beneath Soho Square after a marathon wrestling session with an unknown blockage! "Superintendent Brian Panzer", of The Metropolitan Police was able to confirm rumours tha...
The train company who supply the service to people who live in south east London and Kent have decided to change their name in an effort to reflect the quality of the service they provide. Southeastern Railways are to be rebranded as Uselesscunts...
The Secretary of State for Transport announced today that all London Buses were to be replaced with Rickshaws by the 2012 Olympics. Lord Adonis, on the advice of his Minister of State for Transport, Sadiq Khan, today unveiled the blueprint for th...
In a madcap bid to save the planet (and shorten the dole queue) Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, has backed an audacious plan to ban all motorised vehicles from UK City Centres. The plan, developed by the IPCC, is to make use of the thousands of rick...
A new guide claims that Britain's national sport Pub Darts could soon become extinct. The Cockney Alcoholic's Handbook reckons that dartboards are vanishing from London pubs faster than the boozed-up brain cells of their "knees up Mother Brown" Ma...
LONDON - Vanessa Perroncel, one of the world's most famous lingerie models has agreed to fill in as Sky News Host while Kay Burley takes one weeks vacation. The 49-year-old Burley plans to take care of some personal matters involving some horses w...
A bad outbreak of dissentary mixed up with e-coli and alexsalmonella happened today in West London, and health and safety officials quickly traced it to The Bengal Lancer restaurant in Southall. The illness - nicknamed 'Delhi belly' due to the unp...
Commuters on the Northern Line were recently told to expect months of delays and a reduced service whilst rail engineers perform 'urgent upgrades' to the aging tube line. However, a spokesman for T.F.L. (Transport For London) has revealed that the...
Following her interesting and semi-memorable wardrobe appearance at the 2010 Grammy Awards, Lady Gaga has announced that she will expand her repertoire beyond pop music to play the challenging role of Lady Macbeth on London's West End this spring.
LONDON - Cage-fighter Alex Reid emerged victorious in this years edition of Celebrity Big Brother. The 34-year-old Reid upon being announced as the winner quickly proclaimed that Katie Price is not only the love of his life, and the woman of his d...
Breaking news appears to suggest that talks are at an advanced stage between NFL officials and a London consortium with a view to awarding London an NFL franchise. Our insider told us that should this scenario become a reality, the London team wil...
The National Football League has announced plans to expand to 40 teams by the beginning of the 2020 season. In a 40 team league, they would continue to have two conferences with four divisions each (increasing to five teams per division). When as...
Unconfirmed reports have predicted the collapse of one of London's most legendary constructions. Groups of local human children have been spreading rumours about the imminent destruction of London Bridge. "London Bridge is falling down, Falli...
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