Thames Water engineers finally managed to clear the main sewer pipe running beneath Soho Square after a marathon wrestling session with an unknown blockage!
"Superintendent Brian Panzer", of The Metropolitan Police was able to confirm rumours that the blockage was actually caused after a large pair of 'Well Splayed Buttocks with an Arm jammed up them got wedged in a narrow part of the drain"!
Mr.Panzer went onto expalain that,"As the hand attached to the end of the arm was firmly grasping an Oyster Card the Police have happily passed the problem onto TFL".
Water board engineers were called in after effluent started to bubble out of the drains in Soho Square.
An unnamed engineer said that,"We actually thought it was being caused by all the bullshit spewing out of the FA HQ about England winning the bloody World Cup but were relieved to discover the fault lay elsewhere".
The Arm, Buttocks & Oyster Card are now sitting on a shelf in the lost property office at Baker Street Tube station where they'll remain until either someone claims them or Barry the curator can't stand the smell anymore and burns them.
