To counteract the recent signing by rival talkSport of 'Randy Andy" Gray and Dick Noo-keys, Sky Sports wasted no time in replacing the sexually incorrect pair with Soccer's hottest on air couple Shuttlecock & Andrews! The couple will be repris...
Former Blackburn boss Sam Allardyce believes he is good enough to manage any of Europe's top clubs. Allardyce, once a candidate for the England manager's job, arrived at Ewood Park in 2008 having survived at Newcastle for less than half a season.
Much to the relief of one of professional football's most overpaid actors, Wayne Rooney, the £4.5 million commission being sought by his former agency was all a mistake. Speaking with relief, having taken this week's salary in cash and it being a...
Footballers all over the world have been rocked by the news that FIFA have banned buffon hairstyles for all international fixtures. Gerd Giddeen, FIFA Director of Fashion and Grooming, confirmed the ban today at a news conference in Zurich. Gi...
No sooner are the words out of my mouth than we find they need to be eaten. That gives me a bad feeling in the stomach. Losing 1-0 at home with Robbie Keene in the side. I will no longer predict anything about the Hammers ; they are unpredictable. However I have had a secret session with Mystic Meg - she says she's sees many goals for West Ham next season. In what Division she does not say.
On the day when Chelsea looked to rub Liverpool's nose in it, the Merseysiders grabbed all three points in West London. Having nabbed the Scousers' star striker Fernando Torres as the January transfer window closed last week, the West London blues...
It was proven yesterday that just because you are a spoilt multi-millionaire footy player playing for the biggest club in the world means not a lot when you enter the den of a pack of hungry "Wolves". In fact if you enter with the attitude of a fl...
Gary Neville has finally done the decent thing and retired from top flight football. Speaking candidly on MUTV he issued the following statement. 'I'm packing in now because I realise I'm shite. I can't run anymore, in fact when I start to run,...
Some footballers are very choosy when it comes to deciding with whom to swap shirts following matches. "Well," said one Arsenal player, "fink abart i'..would YOU wanna swap sherts wi' someone who'd just finished tryin' to kick seven types o' shite...
Redditch United are looking for people willing to play their Conference North fixture on Saturday at home to Hyde. They are not picky, and will even supply the kit, though prospective players would need their own boots. "We'd need confirmation by...
At the outset I wish to make it clear that misunderstood articles from my 'pen' on Spoof in recent months had nothing but praise for Avram Grant, the management and team at the Hammers. Those who claim my current views on this wonderful manager were not complimentary have simply got things wrong. Avram does not wear his heart on his sleeve but he has the heart of a lion. He takes the ignora...
Manchester United have announced in a statement on their website this morning that former captain Gary Neville has hung his boots up. Neville, 35, who has made a staggering 602 appearances for the Reds, decided to hang the boots up in the corner o...
Gary Neville, the Manchester United and former England right-back, has announced his retirement from professional game, and all connected with football will be sad to see him go. Neville, 44, joined United from school, aged 8, in 1956, and has ma...
Under pressure Egyptian President Mubarak has taken the unprecedented step of turning to sources in Tyneside in a desperate attempt to extend his 30 year reign in the troubled country. Having found it increasingly difficult to control events on th...
The city of Liverpool erupted in party mode today following the announcement by Manchester United and England defender Gary Neville that he is hanging up his boots. For good. A lifelong United fan who made 602 appearances for the club he loved,...
With headlines ablaze over the fantastical transfer figures being bandied about this week, Sports Frustrated decided to seek out the U.K's lowest priced footballer. Fernando Torres, once trusted and revered Liverpool team member, now just a big tu...
This is 'Anfieldgrad', filing a NEWS REPORT from the banks of the River Mersey. We, the surrounded loyal defenders of 'Anfieldgrad', issue the following statement from Cmdr Comrade Dalglish; "On January 6th Army of Von Hodgson, whilst suffering the fiercest cold Winter, battle fatigue and desertions, was relieved of his command and I took over the leadership here at Anfieldgrad." "We have b...
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