News from the Alaskan state capita,l Fookinkold, is that Sarah Palin is pregnant and expecting in June. Sarah revealed that she became pregnant after a visit to George Bush's ranch in Texas. With the difference in temperature between the 2 states...
After the success of his 'Meals in 30 minutes' cookbook Jamie Oliver is to launch his new book which will show busy, working people how to get a meal on the table in 30 seconds. Section 1 involves practising ordering a pizza on the phone.."clear d...
Soccer mad Italians are to be given a taste of British style soccer reporting and TV presentation. Andy Gray and Richard Keys have been hired by Silvio Berlusconi to front the new Mediaset soccer schedule. When asked whether the past antics of Gra...
Terry Waite, once imprisoned and handcuffed to a radiator in Lebanon as he worked to release hostages has stated that he wants to return there. "With the UK turning back into recession, I can't see any point staying here", said Terry, "I also got...
In a triumph of alliteration, the two Sky sports presenters at the centre of the female official row have been placed on suicide watch. Richard (I've lost my) Keys and Andy (Shades of) Gray have been hauled over the coals for insinuating that fema...
In a back to basics policy change David Cameron, Prime Minister, announced today the return of the death penalty in Great Britain. "To be fair the death penalty never came off the statute books", he said, "we are just extending the penalties where...
Apple (NYSE:APPL) has revealed that it has been working on an app for the iPhone 4 and iPad which will detect lies and lying called the iLie. The app will allow the user to connect the iPhone 4 or iPad to a telephone or to a microphone and the si...
Yes that is right, before J K Growling, authorette of Harry McPotter wizarding series became famous she was a magazine babe. "In Tyne and Weir, it was either sell crack or show your crack", J K told this reporter. All the nude pictures have b...
Harry Redknapp, Spurs manager, revealed that on his recent visit to Spain he was mugged outside the Athletico Madrid football stadium. Thieves bent down and tugged at his trousers to draw his attention while other thieves behind him picked his pocket...
The Olympic Legacy Committee meeting yesterday received all the bids for the future use of the Olympic stadium. In a closed session the committee met and reached a decision that the 2012 stadium, seating 90,000 would go to Tottenham Hotspur who wi...
Manchester City owner Sheikh Mansour announced today that he has bought Manchester United from the Glaziers. For many months the Manchester United supporters have been wearing green scarves to complain about the Glaziers takeover involving their £...
Japanese politics is not known for its radicalism and dynamism but it looks like this is all going to change. Quoting directly from our embedded source in the Japanese "National Unity" ruling party (slogan: Lets all do it together, let's do it now...
The arrival of the large blue French cock on the North plinth at Trafalgar Square has not been greeted with unanimous approval from all the European leaders. In Brussels, Silvio Berlusconi paying a flying visit to have his shoe heels raised, grabb...
Scientists studying the humble budgerigar have spent the last 24 years trying to identify genes which can lead to physical abnormalities. Dr. Ian Boring, PhD student and Darkness fan, was responsible for taking samples of budgerigar sperm and ana...
Apple computers hinted at the forthcoming release of their iSmell app for iPhone4 and iPad last week when they released the Eye-Eye iris scanner and provided more details this week. Arthur Ramsbottom at the Apple Research Centre in Cleckheaton, Y...
Mayor of Barcelona Jordi Hereu, has issued court proceedings in Spain against J K Rowling author of the Harry Potter saga. In her stories it is claimed that Rowling stole the name of the major thoroughfare of Barcelona, which is Avenida Diagonal,...
The new line up for Dragon's Den 2011 has been revealed with a dramatic change to the cast of entrepreneurs. Richard Branson will lead the team but will limit his investments to anything that can be deflowered or is red. Gordon Brown will part...
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