The United States plans to take on North Korea at the Women's World Cup in Germany tonight. The US team says they are motivated and expect to defeat the Communist North Korean team. Korean head coach Kim Kwang-Min offered only brief comment, "It...
The US Government announced that Osama Bin Laden had been killed by a Seal team then buried at sea. However, according to confidential sources, Bin Laden was secretly whisked away alive and well from Pakistan. One confidential source stated Bin La...
Due to the inability to investigate anyone without being sued for violating their rights, The FBI has placed the following ad in all major Newspapers world wide. "The FBI request that all Terrorist report to the nearest FBI headquarters to sign sw...
Birds have been attempting suicide for years if not centuries, but have had difficulties due to their ability to fly. They jumped off the highest cliffs, only to end up flying. They followed humans off of buildings only to get a birds eye view of the human bouncing off the pavement. "I felt so depressed," stated Robin who was one ugly f-ing bird. "I would jump at the same time as the human but...
Tijuana police were called to a bridge on the north side of Tijuana after witness report a below the neck amputee man had hung himself. When officers arrived they found the bodiless man hanging by a metal ring tied to the bridge. When police went...
Santa, (AKA Chris Kringle) (AKA Saint Nicholas) has been informed by NATO that he and his sleigh have been grounded by request of the US Homeland Security Agency. The document stated that Santa has repeatedly ignored to respond to request for ins...
There has been a major crisis at the North Pole as an unidentified elf announced that Santa Clause "aka Chris Kringle" has been admitted into a psychiatric hospital for exacerbation of anxiety. The elf, who wished to remain anonymous and is not a...
Paris Hilton who was denied entry into Japan is still in Japan. Unbeknown to most, Paris Hilton was permitted to hang out in Japan after sending a stand-in home instead. "The stand-in is me regardless of the fact that I am here because as long as she left Japan then technically I left because she is me, that way I can continue on as me while she is me outside of Japan since I am not allowed in...
Lindsey Lohan was released from jail after a 15-hour stay. During a brief hearing Friday morning, a Los Angeles Superior Court Judge had ordered Lohan held without bail until due back in court on Oct. 22. That ruling was tossed after her attorney...
It has been revealed by a top Japanese officials that the Columbian Cartel paid a two million dollar ransom to Japan for the release of Paris Hilton. An unidentified Cartel member says it was money well spent. "We make tons of money from her,...
The Taliban University of Suicide Bombers would like to praise its graduating class of 2010. This years Val Victorian went to Osama Osama Mudafi. Mr. Mudafi is swollen with pride to represent his classmates. Out of all twenty three students, Mr.
Leaked company papers revealed startling news about trapped miners in the Chile gold mine. The papers, which had yet to been discovered, discussed how the Chile government and Mining Company expect the trapped miners to pay for their own rescue by...
The president of Mexico held a news conference today to ask that the American people stop sending factories to Mexico. "We appreciate the gesture, but we do not need your factories. If the American people are having trouble with finding workers f...
Satan held a press conference today to tell the world he has had it with everyone talking about this or that would happen when Hell freezes over. "You people are asking for more than you bargained for, soon we will see if it all comes true." S...
The College of Taliban is offering a new four-year degree in Suicide bombing. Alfrasondefrick Mohamed, Dean of students says the field of Suicide Bombing is booming and sees the need to prepare future students for an exciting and explosive career...
Police are not sure why a noted Congressman committed suicide early this morning. The first officer on scene stated at first they suspected foul play, but where informed later by Secret Service agents that it was suicide. "I gota hand it to the...
The US Federal Government is looking into allegations that the US Border Patrol has been engaged in Racial Profiling. After several complaints from Hispanics found wondering in the desert along the border of Arizona and Mexico, the Federal Government...
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