A 54-year-old man from Whitechapel in East London has told a local newspaper that a recent search on a genealogy site revealed that his late father was a brutal torturer in the feared Nazi secret police, the Gestapo. Speaking from his home in Brus…
(NOT EDITED) Once infamous spoofer, now terrorising punters in his scrapyard in the vicinity of Bow Bells, and on Facebook, Clive 'Wide-Boy' Danton, has reappeared with his incredible, indecipherable, bag of goodies filled with vintage Cockney humour…
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (ABSNN Sports) - The World Boxing Council has the entire sporting world agog at the news that Caesar's Palace will host the very first WBC Championship fight between two unknown, and as yet, unnamed twins in their mother's womb! Th...
A North Pole man has been told he can no longer operate his seasonal business venture, delivering toys to children, after he violated several laws and incurred the wrath of politically correct organizations from across the globe. Santa Claus, who...
WASHINGTON, D.C. (ABSNN) - Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta called the first ever "Emergency Press Conference" to inform reporters and the American Public that "A horrendous, unstoppable computer retro-virus will strike every English speaking comput...
The gang came together after several of its members had been locked out of their local pubs by the Moderators, a notorious head hunting crew that preyed on people using profanity and bad diction. In one night alone, the Moderators closed seven public houses. Each member of the Cole Hole gang had been sent home from their local after falling foul of the Mods. Capo, Clive Danton remembers his fir...
Shocking revelations from the UK today as a close knit group of satirists, known as 'The Coal Hole In The Wall Gang' finally bowed to unrelenting pressure from extreme masculinists, and came out of the closet waving pink chiffon scarves, whilst proud...
The BBC has employed an East End Cockney to read the local lunchtime news. Programme editors felt the gritty accent and down to earth attitude may help raise ratings. Mr Clive Danton, from West Ham was chosen after attending several auditions in Lon...
News that Shakespeare had a collaborator when he penned the comedy All's Well That Ends Well has astounded the literary establishment. But a row has broken out over who the co-writer might have been. Literature boffins at Oxford University reck...
Veteran mature internet dating woman, Cindy Lott, 56, from Hackney has finally announced on her Arsebook wall that after six months of desperate searching, she finally struck gold and copped off with a garage mechanic in the back of a white Transit v...
The accidental maker of the Extrovert Pants, popular in London, has developed the Extrovert Condom in time for it to hit the streets in Austin this week for the South by Southwest Interactive Conference. While The Spoof's booth was not in a premi...
Local Slimy Limey Man, Martin Shuttlecock told today how he survived a run in with gangstas on Harlem's 125th Street today in true Brit style by 'winging it'. The local man was in town hoping to audition as a writer for Late Night With David Lette...
It was the summer of 2010, and Kate Gosselin was at the peak of not only her reality show acting career but also the peak of her sexuality. Divorced since 2009, Gosselin was hot to trot, but looking for love in a small Pennsylvania town with cameras...
Clive Danton addressed the three men sitting on the bench in Hyde Park. "Are you sure, you want to take up Mr Skoobs wager? It is a long arduous journey, and you three are not exactly Olympic athletes are you? Why don't you give him the money and forget about it" "Give him his money!" shouted Inchcock. "I would rather lick your underpants" "No way pedro" said Lynton "I am going to do this,...
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