(NOT EDITED) Once infamous spoofer, now terrorising punters in his scrapyard in the vicinity of Bow Bells, and on Facebook, Clive 'Wide-Boy' Danton, has reappeared with his incredible, indecipherable, bag of goodies filled with vintage Cockney humour!
BBC TV's Breakfast Show is a massive yawn compared to 'Clive Boys' stunning Cockney quips, sharp, cryptic deliveries, enough to wake up the most boring, dedicated, Times Crossword freak. Naturally, with so many cryptic cobwebs in Clive's punch-drunk brilliance, the Times Crossword is like deciphering Noddy and Big Ears (The non-gay version).
It will only be a matter of time before 'Clive Boy' enters the spoof boxing ring once again, located at the back of a boozer somewhere in the once dark, dank, mysterious, Kray-ruled East End of London, or Tom Hardy's, ready to 'punch the fucking lights out' of the spoofs present editor (You know who he is) and regain his spot among UK Spoof cult figures like Jesus Buddha, Skoob, Erskin Quint, Jaggedone (no, not that fucking imbecile!), Radiogagger, and others. Long gone effigies dangling with their necks stretched on the gallows outside of Mark, the Spoof owners Lancashire residence, resembling a weeping willow tree.
Clive 'Wide-Boy' Danton, a literary hustler, busker, is historically remembered in the catacomb of Hackney Underground station by Banksy's dog peeing over a lost blanket with Clive's mad-hatted-head poking out. A genuinely great memorial to this one and only purveyor of true Cockney Wit, cryptic classics, who blows all Jack the Ripper 'fata morganas' back to Poland, or Buckingham Palace.
Life without Clive 'Wide Boy' Danton is like waking up to The Beeb's Breakfast Show every morning, terribly, fucking boring Old Bean!!