Jokes

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All jokes submitted by Rusty.

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Blonde rednecks

Two blonde rednecks meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labelled, chickens....

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David's brother David.

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, How many children do you have?...

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Latex

A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of his fellow dentists were facing....

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Blondes!

A blonde went to electronics store and asked, How is much is this TV?...

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Hole in One?

An American had an meeting in France. He met a woman and that night, after quite a few drinks, they got it on. While they were where having sex, she was yelling, TROU FAUX, TROU FAUX. He didnt know what...

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Coded message

After numerous rounds of: We dont even know if Osama is still alive, Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter...

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Screwed for sure.

Once a girl wanted to leave the U.S.A. for France but couldnt get a visa. One day, she met a man who told her not to despair. lll let you sneak aboard my captains ship, hide you in my cabin, and take you to...

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Polack joke

A blonde was telling her priest a Polack joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her,, Dont you know Im Polish? Oh, Im sorry, the blonde apologizes, do you want me to start over again and talk slower?...

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Topless

One day there was a big fat old bag swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked over to her towel....

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Smart Rabbit

A bear was chasing a little rabbit. Stop running and get back here! yelled the bear. Never! shouted the rabbit. As the rabbit was running he tripped on a lamp. His soft furry foot brushed the lamp and...

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Lateral Thinking

Teacher asks her class of 7 year-olds a maths question If there are ten crows sitting on a wall and you shoot one with your air rifle, how many are left? Tommy throws his hand up None, Miss! No Tommy, she...

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Which g/f to marry?

I had three girlfriends, but wasnt sure which one to marry. So I decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it. The first one went out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets...

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Rub It!

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word penis in tiny small letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none,...

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70 ways to keep a woman happy

There are 70 ways to keep a woman happy. One is to take her shopping. The rest is 69....

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Viagra Overdose

Did you hear about the guy who died of Viagra overdose? They couldnt close his casket....

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Bat Vision

Once there were three bats. They lived in a cave surrounded by three castles. One night the bats made a bet to see who could drink the most blood. The first bat comes home one night and has blood dripping...

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Dead Bird

Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake were walking along the beach. Suddenly, Justin says, Aww, Britney, look at the dead birdie. Britney looks up at the sky and says, Where?!...

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0 to 200 in 6 seconds

Paddy was in trouble yet again. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed off. She told him Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds...

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Revenge Is Sweet

There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years. Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wifes annoyance. Youll fart your guts out...

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A Really Bad Day

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all...

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Knock Knock

Knock Knock Whos there? Atch! Atch who? Im sorry I didnt know you had a cold!...

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10 Husbands-still a Virgin?

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, Please be gentle, Im still a virgin. What? said the puzzled groom. How can that be if youve...

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Resisting Temptation

Three young couples apply to join the Church of Latter Day Morons. The pastor informs them they must prove their devotion to the church and the faith by abstaining from sex for a week. They all return to the church...

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Slightly Confused Teenager

A thirteen-year old comes home from school and asks her mother Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their dicks? Yes, dear replies her mother, pleased that the subject...

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