1. AQUADEXTROUS: (ak wa deks'trus) adj.
Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
2. NOGIVATOSS: (no-give-a-toss) n.
Descriptive of shop assistants, taxi drivers, and security guards.
3. DISCONFECT: (dis kon fekt') v.
To sterilise the piece of confection (lollipop) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.
4. ELBONICS:(el bon'iks) n.
The actions of two people manoeuvring for one armrest in a movie theatre.
5. FRUST: (frust) n.
The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
6. LACTOMANGULATION: (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n.
Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n.
The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.
8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n.
The affliction of dialling a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
9. FIDDLERFORFREE: (fiddler-for-free) n.
Explanatory word for any single or group of Members of Parliament.
10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n.
The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
11. CARPERPETUATION: (kar'pur pet u a shun) n.
The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
12. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n.
The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
(speks-gon-i-cum-again) You have lost your spectacles for the second of more times today.
14. WATAMIDOINHERE: (wot-am-eye-duin-here)
The act of going into another room, and wandering why you did.
15. INTAXIFICATION: (in-tacks-if-ekasion)
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
16. SARCHARM: (sark-as-um) n.
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
17. KARMAGEDDON (kar-mag-edon) It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
18. GLIBIDO (glib-ee-doe)
All talk and no action.
19. DOPELER EFFECT (dop-lur ef-ect)
The tendency of stupid ideas that seem smarter when you have been smoking marijuana.
20. IGNORNANUS (ing-nor-aynus)
A person who's both stupid and an arsehole.