Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time - Catherine Zandonella
Abstainer a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. - Ambrose Bierce
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? - W.C. Fields
"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink" - Lady Astor to Winston Churchill. His reply "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
Work is the curse of the drinking classes. - Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. --Tom Waits
When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. - Petroleum Guzzler, Dave Barry
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. --Dave Barry
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. --Dave Barry
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind -Humphrey Bogart
