A cowboy was riding home one evening when he heard a small desperate voice crying, "Help! Help! Won't someone please help me?" He looked around but could see no one. The voice continued, more desperate than ever, "Help! I'm down here, behind the tree. Please help me!"
The cowboy dismounted from his horse, walked around the back of the tree. and there, trapped under a sturdy branch was a fairy. The cowboy blinked hard and looked again, but it definitely was a fairy. The fairy addressed him saying, "I'm trapped under this old dead tree branch. If you help me get free, I'll grant you three wishes - anything you want. Do we have a deal?"
The cowboy thought he was going crazy, but decided to go along with it. He helped the little fairy get free and stood back. The fairy brushed herself off, straightened up and said, "OK, you have three wishes. What will they be?"
The cowboy thought for a minute, and then replied slowly, "I'd like to have the handsome good looks of someone like Tom Cruise. That's my first wish. Then I'd like to have a firm, muscle-bound body like Mr Universe. That's my second wish. And for my third wish, I'd kinda like to have the size and style of sexual equipment that this here horse has," indicating his faithful steed quietly grazing nearby.
The fairy stood up, holding her magic wand firmly in her right hand, and with a swift wave she announced, "The wishes have been granted. Tomorrow morning when you awake, that which you have wished for will be yours." And with another wave of her wand, she vanished. The cowboy wasn't sure what to do next, but after a moment he mounted his horse and rode on back home to his ranch.
He had difficulty getting to sleep that night, but eventually he did. With the first light of dawn he awoke. He remembered the three wishes and wondered if it could really be that they had come true. He leapt out of bed and stood before the long tall mirror hanging on the wall. There staring back was a very handsome face indeed, not at all unlike a young Tom Cruise. He then ripped open his pyjama top to reveal a muscle-bound firm and well toned body, not at all unlike Mr Universe. Then he smiled to himself as he thought of the third wish.
Taking his time he stood to his full height. Then he whipped his pants down to his ankles and stood up straight and gazed into the mirror. For a moment he was silent. Then he screamed in anguish, "Oh fuck! That horse was a goddamned mare!"