So I told my wife that I was going to go up to Chicago's south side and enter their annual "Biggest Dick" contest, even though white guys like me usually aren't welcome. She didn't believe I'd go through with it.
When I came back, I proudly handed her the first prize blue ribbon. She looked at me in surprise and said, "You didn't really pull out your dick in front of all those African Americans did you?"
I said, "Only enough of it to win."