A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw."
From out in the audience a man shouts, "You lying bastard!"
"Silence in the court!", the Judge shouted back to the man, all the while banging his gavel. He turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."
"You damned tightwad!" blurted the spectator again.
"Quiet!", yelled the judge after a few more bangs of his gavel and then continues, "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."
"You cheap son of a..." the man starts to shout when the Judge thunders back, "If you don't tell me reason for your outbursts right now, I will hold in contempt!"
So the man answers, "I've lived next to that lying bastard for ten years now, but do you think he ever had any tools when I needed to borrow one!"