A preacher said to a farmer, "Do you belong to the Christian family?"
"No," he said, they live two farms down."
"No, I mean are you lost?"
"No, I've been here thirty years."
"I mean, are you ready for Judgment Day?"
"When is it?"
"Could be today, or tomorrow."
"Well, when you find out for sure when it is, you let me know. My wife will probably want to go both days!"