A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the play he become strangely aroused and decided to go to the bathroom to masturbate, so he hurried to find the bathrooms.
He searched in vain for the rest rooms, but instead, all he found was a beautiful fountain with foliage. Nobody was watching, so he dropped his pants and masturbated furiously.
When he finally got back into the auditorium, he searched in the dark until he found his wife. "Did I miss much of the second act?" he asked.
"Miss it?" she said, "You were starring in it!"