A psychiatrist on his way from Princeton to Harvard for his annual spring medical school reunion got into his BMW one morning, put the roof down, and inserted his favorite Glen Campbell CD. As "Wichita Lineman" rose into his ears and lofted up into the beautiful New Jersey sunrise in orange, purple, and red, he felt a deep sense of gratefulness for turnpike smokestacks.
As the psychiatrist drove along, with his distinguished greying hair blowing in the breeze, he kicked himself for being one of the Harvard trustees who didn't vote to admit Brooke Shields to Princeton. "But," he consoled himself, "there are plenty of other beautiful bushes around to make up for the one that got grabbed in 'The Last Picture Show'."
While bringing himself back to a mindful state, he forgot about all the bushes from Hollywood and even the ones from Crawford (who have gotten us into wars on false pretenses). Looking out at a row of forsythias just bursting into bloom as he motored onto Route 80, he heard a horrible clinking sound. He pulled to the side of the road and stopped the engine.
Looking at one of his tires, he saw that all four lug nuts had come off the driver's side front wheel. "Oh, f*****g Yale," he exclaimed, then noticed a man in a field of flowers standing about ten feet away behind a fence. In the distance beyond the field, the professor could see a large, foreboding gray building with a "New Jersey Psychiatric Hospital" sign in front.
The fellow behind the fence had a kind but amused look as he greeted the doctor with a "How ya doin'?"
"Well," the doctor said, looking at the man dressed in an outfit that made him look like Kim Jong Un who shopped at a Jersey flea market. "It's like this, I'm trying to get to my medical school reunion but, as you can see, my good man, all the lug nuts have come off one of my tires. Now I'll miss it and will have to wait another year!"
The man behind the fence said, "Doc, don't fret. That's not a big problem to solve: just take one lug nut off each of the three other tires and put them on the one that has none. You can drive with three lug nuts."
"That's brilliant," said the doctor to the pleasant chap, now restored to his happy mood on this fine spring day. "Thank you so, so much. How did you think of that?"
"Well, Doc," the little fellow said as he picked up a daisy, "I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid."
