A copyright-free joke for any candidate who would like to use it on the stump to zing the current American president. (With a little tweaking, it may apply to many other world leaders, not to mention Boris. You know whom I'm talking about.)
Setup: It's best if you've had a few drinks before you set out with this one. Take several deep breaths and get your rhythm going, and have a really pissed off attitude . . .
I'm standing here to urge you not to vote for Trump in the 2020 election, or, for that matter, for president of pipe-fitters union, for local mayor, school board, the PTA, best neighbor, Boy Scout Leader, or for dog catcher. Especially dog catcher.
Here's why: Trump to his core is corrupt. His administration is corrupt, so is his family, his associates, his supporters, his neighbors, his neighbors' neighbors, his neighbors' neighbors' paperboys, who are corrupt--with collection bags full of kickbacks. Not to mention the neighbors' neighbors' paperboys’ dogs, which the paperboys almost never feed or water with any degree of regularity, and isn’t that by itself a kind of corruption?
Trump is so corrupt that, if he had a dog, it would be corrupt. He’d share that quality with paperboys, who, sickened by the thought, would immediately change careers.
Trump's dog would, in no time, hump neighborhood porn star dogs and have someone pay them off to remain quiet. And worse, it'd carry STDs and have rabies--because a rabid Trump had already bitten it, thinking it was a piece of KFC chicken, which is also corrupt, and so are the utensils, and the packaging the KFC came in, and the napkins, and the poor servant who has to clean up after Trump, along with the taxi driver who just drove by the White House as part of his usual route, along with the crossing guard, abusing his authority when stopping cars to allow a bunch of corrupt little fourth graders cross the street, which itself is corrupt, having hidden for years the maintenance worker who tried to fix a leaky pipe in the caverns beneath the street, only to meet a rabid rat, which, being rabid, decided to bite the maintenance worker, who then went home and spread rabies to his family and his cat named Fluffy, and his daughter Bernie (because he always wanted a boy and kind of likes Bernie Sanders, though he had the kid before he'd ever heard of Bernie Sanders, but at this point does logic really matter?) which is to say that Trump should not be re-elected because he is not only corrupt but rabid. And likely to mess around with Bernie, given her tender age.
And we all can do without that . . .