How to get a Really Good Tan

Submitted by Ralph E. Shaffer

Friday, 6 October 2017

Early in their career as co-authors of a political news column, Drew Pearson and Jack Anderson vacationed at the Coronado Hotel near San Diego. The first night of their arrival Anderson read an article in a fitness magazine that explained the most effective and quickest way to get a sun tan. A stickler for accuracy in the column, that characteristic carried over into other aspects of his life, such as getting a sun tan. According to the magazine article, the key to a quick and successful tan was to be in precise alignment with the sun. Head, feet and sun had to be in a perfectly straight line. The next day Jack and Drew took to the beach. Pearson simply put down his beach blanket and stretched out on it. Anderson protested, saying they had to follow the magazine instructions to the letter. Pearson reluctantly complied, and they lay next to each other, heads, feet and sun in seemingly accurate alignment.

A few moments later Anderson said they were off center, insisting they make a slight adjustment in position. Grudgingly, Pearson complied. They had been in the new alignment only a few moments when Anderson called for another slight shift to position themselves just right in relation to the sun.

This went on incessantly, every couple of minutes with both sun bathers making a new alignment with the sun. After a while other beach goers began to notice. A crowd, standing a reasonable distance away, gathered, giggling at the gyrations of the two middle-aged sun bathers. A late arrival, unaware of the reason for the crowd looking at two paunchy men lying side by side in the sun, asked what the attraction was, to which another smiling bystander replied that it was fun as they watched
Drew align in the sand.

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