CLOSE-UP of a sleeping dog. Then cut away to a dog in his apartment, with a cute collie named Denise, and Barry White's "Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Bitch" playing in the background. Cut to dog sleeping, whelping loudly, and then cut to the same dog moving in on the cute collie named Denise, doggy-style. . . .
Voice over: "If your dog can dream it, Purina Priapic Formula can help him achieve it. Erectile dysfunction doesn't have to put him on the Spot."
(Warning: If your dog has an erection that lasts over four hours, call his veterinarian.)