The Onion Joke

Submitted by Michael Egan

Wednesday, 14 January 2015

Same woman goes into a green grocer and says, "Can I have pound of onions, please?"

The guy replies, "Sorry, lady, we're all out of onions right now. But if you come back tomorrow there'll be plenty."

"Oh, okay." She leaves.

Ten minutes later she's back again. "Can I have pound of onions, please?"

The guy says, "Listen, lady, I just told you. We're all out of onions, but if you come back tomorrow there'll be plenty."

"Oh, okay." She leaves.

Ten minutes later she's back. "Can I have pound of onions, please?"

The guy looks at her for a while and then says: "Lady, lemme ask you a question. If you take the P and the O out of potato, what do you have left?"

She thinks and then says: "Tato."

"That's right! Now, if you take the T-O out of tomato, what do you have left?"

"Um...Mato!"

"Right again! Now if you take the F-U-C-K out of Onions, what do you have left?"

"But there's no 'fuck' in onions."

"That's right!" he screams. "There's no fuckin onions!"


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