A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.
The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gun bearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I shit myself."
The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have shit themselves."
The old explorer said, "No, not then -- just now when I went just said ROARRRR."
Because the old man had soiled himself, while being interviewed the reporter left.
Happy now? An old man just defecated in his pants for your entertainment! Well - are you?????