Donald Trump and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country.
Trump tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer. They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside. He is gone for a long time.
When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses."
"Why were they so grateful?" Trump asks.
The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. All I told him was that I was Donald Trump's driver and I'd just killed the pig."
This joke can be modified - just substitute Trump for Rosie 'O'Donnell, Piers Morgan or anyone else you don't like, such as your brother's fat, wretched wife Margaret, who yet again ate 7 chicken wings to my 2. Chubby Bitch.