Of all the diets I have been on, the Dog Diet worked the best. It's a simple diet and you can't get rich writing a book about it but it works.
Take most of the stuff you have in the house and bury them all over the back yard.
Since you can't smell them like a dog can, even when they're wrapped, you soon forget where they are.
Of course if you do find one, after a couple months you won't want it anyway.
-Ms. I.M. Moleturd
