"You don't look so good, Elroy. You come in early?"
"Yep, golf can be trying sometimes. But I really got off to a good start. I hit four good balls on the front nine."
"Why that sounds good."
"Hey, let me tell you, Moleturd. I had an Eagle on the Par 5, 4th hole. First time in my life. Then I hit a forty-foot putt on the 6th. Then, on the ninth I hit the big sand trap."
"How about the other two good balls?"
"Don't know if they are good anymore or not. I stepped on a rake half hidden in the sand and I gotta go to the doctor. Right now, I can't do nothing but sit here and count out how much I can sue the grounds keeper.....or I may die, trying to decide. Would you care to go outside for awile, I'm about to start screaming again?"
-I.B. Moleturd