"Hey Purvey! When did you get back from Las Vegas? I thought you were supposed to be gone for two weeks."
"The bus brought me back yesterday."
"What happened to your car?"
"I don't want to talk about it. Stay away from that place. The Strip is fine but downtown hookers are everywhere and every age."
"Tell us about it."
"Well, I lost almost everything I had, even my car. So I kept enough for bus fare and a little for food & stuff. So I went into this really crummy restaurant and saw the sign: Cheese Sandwich $2.00, Grilled Cheese $3.00, Hand Job: $5.00. I told you they were everywhere downtown."
"So?"
"Oh. Well, there were three middle aged ladies all dolled up there in front so I asked the least ugly one was she the one who did the hand jobs and she said "Yes Sir!!
"So I told her, "Then go wash your hands and make me a grilled cheese sandwich!"
_I.B. Moleturd