Hackers have been blamed for doctoring a NHS smoking helpline's pre-recorded digital advice dealing with callers' worries.
The service's most frequently asked question 'What should I do if my girlfriend starts smoking in bed again?' now gets a forthright 'Try using a lubricant' reply.
And for women anxious to find out the best way to stop a guy smoking after sex the helpline offers stark advice: 'Fill his water bed with gasoline.'