The Hillbilly And The Whore

A hillbilly goes to Las Vegas and decides to check out a local brothel. He saunters up to the Madame and asks,
"Hiya! Would it be okay if I gets ta have some fun with one of yer ladies?"
The Madame tells him, "Why of course, sir. How much would you like to spend and what kind of girl may I offer you?"
The Hillbilly replies, "I have here a thousand dollars and I'm lookin' for a plump, overwieght lady in her mid-forties, with saggy boobs, frizzy hair, an' maybe some acne and a missing tooth. Oh, and if she smokes a corn-cob pipe and likes moonshine that'd be mighty fine!"
The Madame is shocked and tells him, "But, sir, for one thousand dollars you could have the most beautiful woman I have here! Why would you want someone that looks like that?!"
The Hillbilly shrugs and says, "I'm hopesick!"