Disaster was narrowly averted at Lady Thatcher's wake today after thieves stole the caterers' van and all its delicious contents.
A quick thinking David Cameron immediately took charge of the situation, phoning out for a selection of yummy fried food from the Burger King next door to Guildhall.
Unfortunately ravenous guests soon polished off all the quarter pounders before Cameron and his wife Sam could get so much as a nibble on a ketchup-dipped chip.
Undefeated by the setback the PM strode into the take away and personally demanded a couple of Whoppers.
"Er, she was a political giant, that Maggie Thatcher," the serving assistant said, "just like yourself, Dave."
