Joe Biden and Barack Obama are the perfect running mates. Biden can't answer even the simplest question, and Obama has three different answers for every question asked.
Barack Obama wanted to prove that he's tough on illegal immigration, so he ordered his Aunt to be deported to Hawaii.
Obama's new bumpersticker: BUSH DID IT - VOTE FOR OBAMA!
Obama has sold more guns to the drug cartels than all of the other Nobel Peace Prize winners put together.
Q. Why did Obama step on the cockroach?
A. He hates competition.
Q. What will Obama do if Romney challenges him to a debate?
A. Claim Executive Privilege.
Now that Chief Justice Roberts has voted to uphold ObamaCare, it's finally shovel ready.
The side effects of reading the ObamaCare decision include nausea and vomiting.
ObamaCare is designed to go into effect after he is reelected. If Obama is reelected, we'll need it.
Obama ordered Congress to set aside a billion dollars for a new research project. He wants to know why global warming goes away in the winter.
Obama's top speech writer just resigned so that he could start writing comedy. He's working for CNN now.
Obama is getting tired of people who say that he doesn't have a birth certificate. He actually has several.
Obama isn't the least bit jealous of Hillary Clinton's new mustache. After all, he already has a beard.
America has lost five million jobs under Obama. Don't worry though. Obama says he'll send Joe Biden to go look for them.