--Prepare Secret Service pink slips .
--Replace missing White House silverware.
--Track and freeze pardon payments.
--Shred piles of Hope n' Change posters.
--Donate teleprompters to the Salvation Army.
--Flip off Hillary Clinton.
--Rescind medical marijuana cards.
--Send Chris Matthews a condolence letter.
--Take Eric Holder into custody.
--Remove hair plug coverage from ObamaCare.