No sir, South Yorkshire Contabularay, we had a message that you needed help.
A message in a bottle?
No, it was a 999 call claiming a man had been sexually assaulted by an owl at this address.
Yes, of course, I have the owl now locked in my back room, please come in officer.
No sir, West Midlands Police, we have a warrant for your arrest for the crime of trespassing on a dead rockers grave.
Yes, that's right, it was The Who, you have been accussed of Walking On The Moon....the burial plot of crazed Who drummer, Keith Moon. Please let us in.
Yes, of course officer, please let me first get rid of an unwanted owl.